AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter Date: 8/6/2008 Subject: how can i strengthen our relationship
Question Me n my boyfriend have been dating for almost 2 years, a month after we started dating I got pregnant, found out 3 months into the relationship. Then his family started hating on me, I really loved this guy and he really loved me. We were always good it was everyone else getting into our relationship. His mother hated me n his friends hated me. I ended up moving in with his mom n dad n him when i was 5 months pregnant. And then I had my beautiful daughter, they were really good to me for the first couple weeks and then all of the sudden everyone, even him started being real mean n ignorant towards me and telling me that I wasn't doing a good job being a housewife n mother as I was working and schooling in a hair salon trying to fullfill my dream of being a hairstylist. He would never watch her when I needed him to, he would only help me with her when I was home n I bugged him to. Sometimes he was real good others not quite. He is a good father, he loves her, and me n him just lost our spark. So one day we got into it real bad and he ended up putting his hands on me for the first time(choking me) and that day I left, I moved to my mothers 3 hours away from him and I told him he can see his daughter anytime. Well anyways, a couple weeks later he realized what he had lost and drove all the way here to talk to me about everything and he told me he would do anything to be with me so I told him the only way was if he moved away from his family and move here with me around my mother and promise me to help me with angelina and move into our own place and help me pay for our daughter and our bills and he promised and he is suppose to be moving here this weekend, now my problem is the spark of love that I never wanted to be away from him is gone, how can I get it back because I really want this to work???
Also, when children become part of the relationship, the spark fizzles even faster. So, what you are experiencing is absolutely normal and to be expected.
I'm glad to hear that you walked out when he put his hands on you, and that you set the ground rules if he wants to try it again. But, you'll need to be firm. He really needs to step it up. First, he's lucky that you are giving him another chance after him choking you. If he does again, that needs to be the end! Not just for your sake, but you don't need Angelina growing up in an environment like that.
Secondly, a good father doesn't just love his daughter, but he also needs to care for her physically and financially as well as making the home a place to raise her (which means he needs to treat you with respect). If he can't step up into this role, too, you may need to step away. Let him know you aren't going to put up with his junk and that he's lucky you're giving him the opportunity to show you he's changed.
