AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question I have been dating this guy for a little longer than two years. I always ask him to plan stuff for us to do together (because I am the one always thinking of things to do together) and his response is that he never plans things in advance and that is just how he works. For example, I asked a few weeks before our 2 year anniverary for us to plan a really fun and memorable thing we could do, but he did not want to at all and that he would rather think of something when it got closer. We ended up eating tacos at his apartment and he didn't even get me a gift.
The other day I was at his place and he was planning this weekend trip with his guy friends to do something I have always been asking him to do with me. He was getting really excited about it, more excited than he ever gets with me. Why does he want to plan things with his guy friends, but not me? He sais its because I am too difficult to please, but that doesn't make any sense, I want to do the same things. Am I being insecure because I feel like he doesn't find me fun anymore or that I don't excite him? Why does he want to plan fun things with his friends, but not with me? It really hurts my feelings and I have tried to tell him about it, but it comes off that I'm being rediculous.
Answer Hello Katherine,
He's getting a rush going out with his friends, but he's not feeling the same way about spending that time with you. There could be many reasons for this, but odds are that the passion in your relationship is fizzling a bit. Don't worry just yet. It's very common. Read this for more clarification (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_10_fades.php).
One thing I would suggest for the two of you, if you can convince him, is to sit down and make a list of dates, fun things that the two of you would be into. This could be a fun time to brainstorm together, throw ideas off of one another, and dream as a couple. Then, write each idea you both like on a separate piece of paper. Stick them all in a box or bag or something.
These are your date ideas. Ones you both want to do. Each week (maybe on Monday) one of you reach in and pull one out. That person needs to prep that date for the weekend. So, they are in charge of putting everything together.
Next Monday, the other one pulls one. And, as the slips of paper disappear, you just brainstorm some more and add others. By doing this, he doesn't have to come up with ideas on his own, and won't end up grabbing some tacos for an anniversary again, but you are guaranteed to do something you both like, and you don't really know which he'll be choosing, so there's still some surprise element involved.
