Expert: Leon Scott Baxter: - 10/16/2009

Question
I'm 20 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two and a half years now. A year ago my brother committed suicide and my boyfriend has really been there for me, although sometimes it seems like he might resent it. My boyfriend is everything I have wanted in a mate he shares similar interests, wants a big family, and is incredibly sweet. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Things in are relationship are great. We have occasional fights, but who doesn't. We are currently living together and everything just feels right. I know he loves me, but when we talk about our future he always says that i'm an amazing person but everyday is different for him. One day he thinks he wants to be with me forever and the next day he's not sure i'm the one. I really love him and want this to work. But I don't want him to end up committing to me one day just because we've been together for awhile. My boyfriend is really indecisive and that makes me think whether we take a break or not he still won't ever make up his mind 100%. I'm not sure I could marry him if he isn't postive he should be with me. Should I stay with him because we both love each other? Or should I leave because I'm not sure if he'll ever really know?

Answer
Hello Shawna,

For many guys (and women for that matter), it takes time to really be ready to fully commit. Since you are 20, I'm assuming your bf is probably around that same age. He may love with all his heart, see a big future with you, and wouldn't even ever think about settling down with someone else, but committing fully right now, may be too early, not too early in the relationship, but too early in his life. Give him more time to mature and grow up a bit.

In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful relationship yo have, with this supportive loving man you've found. Why do we get into relationships in he first place? To find what you two have. Will it last forever? Who knows? That's the thrill of love. Yo put your hart on the line and are blessed with a loving, healthy relationship like yours, but the risk is that it could end at some point.

Enjoy what you have now. Let him grow up. With maturity comes decisiveness. Give him time. I'd bet he'll see clearly what he has and won't want to lose it.


Leon Scott Baxter
"America's Romance Guru"
http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com