AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
I starting dating a really great guy single father of 3 young kids....since June'09. We are both Divorced but I have no children. He is 39 ans I'm 41.. He wined and dined me all summer even spent a weekend together in which he was a gentle man all the way .we are also in College....He became distant but still consistently calls me like always. He has his hands full his kids ages 5, 7, 9 live with him full time 4 days a week, He works 7a-7p, He's doing his MS degree online and he also try to make time for his church. bu 9pm he is usually sleep so he usually calls me before then. He brcame distance after finding out his sister has cancer, Ex-Wife had breast cancer, All of Sept he had a slew of bad luck: his was sick with walking Pneumonia, his son had a head injury that put him into the Hospital, He had a car accident, This was almost ever weekend we made plans. They were true issues ( I checked them out )....
I havent seen him since after Labor Day wkend and I am frustrated and I know he is overwhelmed so I stay patient and he reassures me but won't talk to me as much as before...He says he's working it out and that "he is into me".
I am being patient because he is a guy who is different than most guys I let into my life..He wants to get to know me and he didnt take advantage of me when he could have....
He seem to be frustrated that he always have an excuse and he doesnt have a baby sitter so our dates are c/s all the time.
I'm not sure what to do... He recently asked me my plans for the holidays so we can getaway...
Will this pass? Im being patient to not put add'l pressure on him but I need to know sdomething, Im feeling some kind of way....Thanks for all your help~
Answer Hello Carol,
He seems like a respectful man who really cares for others. He's had a lot of obstacles thrown in his path recently. And, the two of you are in a relatively new relationship. It sounds to me that he really still wants to see where the relationship will go, but due to unforeseen circumstances the evolution of the relationship has slowed down.
I think that you need to let him get through all of this muck, and then he can focus his attention to you and the relationship again.
In the meantime, so as not to pressure him, but also to be helpful and stay on his radar, why not do or send something for him to help out his circumstance. For instance, say he has to go to the hospital to visit one of the folks who are there, and he won't have time to make food for the kids. Tell him that you'll have a pot of spaghetti and meatballs for him by 6:00 pm as well as a salad. You'll leave it by the door for when he gets home.
What that does is show him that you understand what he's going through, it helps him, and he realizes you can be a support and not have to hound him for his attention when he's needed somewhere else.
