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About Leon Scott Baxter
Expertise
I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience
I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications
Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials
Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors
KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > How to Strengthen Your Relationship > Relationship advice
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter - 10/25/2009
Question
Hi
recently after 6 months of being in a relationship my boyfriend and I have been having real bad problems in our relationship. We have started arguing non stop and decided to call it a day and end the relationship before it became worse. After 1 week we got togather and decided to try again. While we have not argued since we are still really distant. I feel that i have bit my tounge every day to stop an argument from starting. I do everything for me and my boyfriend. He is the world to me and I am devestated by what is happening. I feel he wants out of the relationship so he can be single again. He is 19 and I am 27 so their is a big age difference. We spend lots of time togather and try to go to cinema, out for a meal etc etc. He knows how much I love him because I tell him constantly. However, he rarely tells me how he feels, I think it's a lot to do with his age. I've tried to give him space, I've tried to spend more time togather but nothing seems to work.
I don't want to give up on this relationship but feel it has no future if something dosent change. Any advice/help would be greatly appriciated.
Answer
Hello John,
First, you should know that between 6 and 18 months into a relationship, there is a drop in excitement and passion. This is all due to brain chemistry. What comes of this, is either a) couples who should be together assume that they are no longer in love and break it off prematurely, b) couples realize that they really aren't in love and the first part of the relationship fooled them into thinking they were, or c) they work through the slump, because they are truly in love and embrace the next stage of their relationship. Please read more about it in this report (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_10_fades.php).
By the way, you shouldn't have to try to appease him every step in your relationship (biting your tongue, doing everything for the two of you, telling him you love him constantly). Take a look at the link I gave you , and don't be so eager with him. Make him come to you a bit. And, if he doesn't, could mean that he's not ready for a relationship at the level you expect, just yet.
Leon Scott Baxter
"America's Romance Guru"
http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com
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