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About Leon Scott Baxter
Expertise
I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience
I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications
Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials
Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors
KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > How to Strengthen Your Relationship > He just doesn't seem like he wants to see me.
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter - 10/26/2009
Question
Okay, I am 15 and my boyfriend is 17. I love him dearly and he just doesn't seem the same. He tells me he loves me but I'm not so sure that he does. He used to be so spontaneous and amazing. But our love just doesn't seem to click anymore. After school he usually comes over for about an hour and he seems to not want to anymore. I love this guy so much. I just don't want to lose him. He was my first for just about everything. We have been dating for about a year and a month and things just aren't going how I would like them to. He always wants to be with his friends now or working on his car or playing with his airsoft gun. I used to be his world but its coming down to us hanging out about a day a week now. How can I make our relationship better and how it used to be when I was his everything?
Answer
Hello McKenzie,
This is the most common question I get. It's normal to feel that the relationship has changed, that passion and excitement has waned, that interest and romance are on the decline. And, this generally happens 6 to 18 months into a relationship. It's all due to changes in hormones and brain chemistry.
I would like you to read this to get a better understanding of the "why" as well as the "what"... what you can do to get things a bit more interesting (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_10_fades.php).
Let me tell you, though, you have reached a critical point in your relationship. This is the time that one of three things can happen:
1- You both realize that those first months were great, but since the chemicals have dwindled, you realize that it wasn't really love. It was more of infatuation and puppy love, and you move on (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/love_romance.php).
2- You realize that it IS true love (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/whatlove.php), and that you accept the new phase you are entering, while working on keeping romance alive.
3- Or, (this is the one to watch out for) you get out of the relationship assuming that it's no longer love, because things have changed, but you are leaving true love, but just don't know it. Why? Because you think love should always be the way it was in the beginning. Too many couples do this, look for another relationship to make them feel the way they did at first and when that one dwindles, they move on again, never cementing a committed relationship, because they don't hang around long-enough in the next phase.
I hope this helps some. Good luck.
Leon Scott Baxter
"America's Romance Guru"
http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com
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