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Im 23 and my boyfriend is 29, we have been dating for 2 years and a half now.
Our relation is a normal one we leave in two different cities but the same country, 50 minutes from each others by road. We see each other more often in weekend than during the week, go out, talk, spend time with friends and family…we stops having sex for nearly a year now because he wanted to really have it either being fiance or married with me. I felt comfortable with his idea…
Last year, July, he clearly explained to me that he needed his space to think clearly about his life, what important decisions to take but was not leaving me. After one month away from him I started feeling uncomfortable with the situation, we had a talk and started back together.
This year again, in June, he told me the same story. He needs to get his feelings and emotions together, know what he really want for his life, he doesnt wanna go just forward thinking things will work out while expectation grow each day and he want to go away to clear his mind (these are his proper words). He even added that he didn’t feel like being in a relation anymore.
I felt desesperate and told him that I tried everything I could so I was just gonna let him go whithout fighting any longer. He replied asking me not to leave him because he is still in love with me, he just needs space and he is confused about so many things.
Even if it is hard I try not to contact him, then he send sms hoping that im fine or that he misses me. When I try to get back with him, he just makes me feel like it is not the moment. So I don’t know what to do any more, I do care about him, I just feel that he is so confused and he is confusing me as well.
Please help me Sharon.
Thank you
-D.
Answer HI.
This is not a good relationship for you because this man is not stable. He is also willing to play mind games with you by telling you he doesn't want to lose you but he really doesn't want to have a full relationship with you. I think it is good to wait until marriage to have sex, but the way this guy did it makes me wonder if he might have another woman that he has also been seeing--or there is something seriously wrong with him. You had better do some checking.
One thing you must learn is that people do what they want to do. He knows this hurts you and yet is willing to go ahead and put your through this. I think you were right to let him go and I don't think you really want him back unless this is what you want forever in your life.
Wouldn't you want to have someone who loves you so much that he just can't wait to marry you and be with you forever? This guy is either really messed up in his head or he has another woman.
By pulling away and stopping all contact he might come chasing after you, but I truly believe that pretty soon, you would be right back in the same situation where he is needing time to think things out and there you go again with the same mental anguish that he is willing to put your through.
I vote for you to move on and find another and more loving man.
