AboutKindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.
Experience I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.
Question For the past few months my boyfriend and I have been through some hard times. He's had the worse of it. He hasn't been able to pay his child support, he's lost his job and just this week he's found out his brother is dieing. I've been here for him as best I can but I feel like I'm farther and farther from my boyfriends heart. this has been going on for a while. Its like theres nothing there anymore. I mean there is but not like it use to be. We had to move back to our parents house's and he got kicked out of his moms and is now living with a friend down the road. my mom hates my boyfriend for personal reasons and its made these past 4 years really hard. My boyfriend and I...we're just not as close as we use to be. Its like I don't even know him anymore and now with his brother dieing and he also might lose his son cause he has no way to pay his child support I feel like I'm letting him down by not being able to help. I don't know how to fix all this.
Answer Dear Brittany,
You can't fix it all. These are some big problems that do occupy a persons thoughts. He will just have to work through this the best he can and all you can do is love him through it and accept that his thoughts, feelings, and actions are based upon things outside of your relationship. All you can do is show you care. With all this going on, you will not be the center of his focus for awhile. Only you can decide how much you can "hang on" through, because I can tell you for certain, it will be awhile before you are the main thing in his life again. There is just too much going against that right now. You can't fix it, you can only care about him as he changes what he can and accepts what he can't.
He needs to focus on finding a job, which will help the child support situation and he'll have to come to terms with what is going on with his brother. Give him the space and love that you can and that's all you can do.
I'm sorry for all he is going through and I'm sorry how it is affecting you.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz
www.eingedi.us
