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About Leon Scott Baxter
Expertise
I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience
I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications
Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials
Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors
KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > How to Strengthen Your Relationship > My relationship is in serious trouble!http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/
How to Strengthen Your Relationship - My relationship is in serious trouble!http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter - 10/24/2009
Question
Well me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and we've been through a lot but now I find myself in a situation that I can't do ANYTHING about. Lately he's become very detached from me ... we used to live together and that wasn't working out due to a few reasons but this downfall has happened within the past 2 weeks I noticed something was wrong when he had no interest in kissing me anymore then it got worse and he stopped wanting to spend time with me and he told me he needed a break for a week but he still wanted to be with me and that he just needed time to himself and I was okay with that . My only issue is that he makes me feel very unimportant ... he says I'm too needy and I'm obsessive but the reason why I get obsessive is because he's talking to another girl but I tell him ''maybe I wouldn't have to be so jealous and question you if you just stopped talking to her'' but he throws everything back in my face like everything is my fault I used to be pretty jealous but I just told him yesterday that I don't care what he does anymore as long as its not cheating on me and now that I see what its like to be like so jealous that it makes me sick to my stomach he went out clubbing last night and it didn't even matter to me I just want to be able to trust him to not talk to this girl so when I stop being obsessive he tells me oh I want time to myself I want freedom etc etc ... to be perfectly clear and cut to the chase WHAT CAN I DO TO JUST MAKE HIM LOVE ME LIKE HE USED TO?
Answer
Hello Christina,
There are a few issues at play here. First, you two are going through the slump all couples eventually reach if they stay together long enough. Passion and excitement dwindle, and you take one another for granted. Please read this to learn more about why, and how to fix it (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/),
Secondly, there are trust issues. I want to know if there have been betrays of trust in this relationship before or maybe in past relationships for you. And, that brings us to issue number three.
He's talking to another girl. Talking to a girl can mean a lot of things. And, depending upon the strength of your relationship as well as what "talking" means, determines if these actions are appropriate or not. What it comes down to, either way, is communication between the two of you. You need to try to find what the issue is and and work on compromising to make both parties happy.
Problem is, doesn't look like the two of you are doing much open communication.
Your question was "What can I do to make him love me like he used to?" Odds are he won't love you like he used to. Love is ALWAYS changing . The strength changes. The methods change. And the definition of love itself changes (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/whatlove.php). I think what you are missing is him doing things that make you feel cared for. You need to bring passion, excitement, and especially romance back to your relationship. That first link I gave you offers some great starting off points to get romance back.
If he's up to it, you two may also want to try the "52-Week Challenge" (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_8_challenge.php). Finally, return to my site regularly and check out the new Daily Tip every 24-hours (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/daily_tip.php), and sign up for my free monthly newsletter (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/register.php).
If you want more specific ideas, give me a bit more insight as to what exactly is going on, your past, and this girl. I hope this is helpful
Leon Scott Baxter
"Americas' Romance Guru"
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