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About Leon Scott Baxter
Expertise
I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience
I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications
Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials
Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors
KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > How to Strengthen Your Relationship > Keeping my girlfriend interested
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter - 11/5/2009
Question
Me and my girlfreind have been off and on for 7 months, three times she has left me and all three times she has come back. we have so much fun together and have amazing times together and then she gets distant and leaves and then comes back. we have now just got back together for a 4th time. How can I stop being so available to her so that this does not happen again.
Answer
Hello Jamie,
So, it sounds to me like you want to know how to be a bit stronger because you don't want her thinking that she can just come and go and you'll always be there for her...right?
Well, will you? I mean, if she keeps this up, will you continue to be there waiting for her return? If so, she knows it, and you are at her whim.
If you want her to respect you and not come in and out of your life at her leisure, you need to tell yourself first that you refuse to accept this any longer, that you have more respect for yourself. Once you believe it, tell her that this can't happen again. And, if she pulls the same tricks, when she comes back knocking on your door, no matter how badly you want to open it... you refuse to answer.
Show her you mean business and that she can't treat you like this. Let her feel the anxiety she bestows upon you for a bit. Give her a few weeks wondering if she'll get back in with you. Then, finally, talk to her about her proving to you that she deserves your second chance. Don't make this a cake-walk. You need to shake her up a bit. And, if she pulls it again even after that, you need to take a break from her, date some other ladies, and see what it's supposed to be like out there.
Leon Scott Baxter
"America's Romance Guru"
http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com
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