AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question My boyfriend and I spoke the other night. He said to me first, that he loved me and missed me. Second time we were alone talking, he said he thought it was best we were on a break. He said it was very hard on him that i kept bringing up the past again and again. I told him i understood, and it was something i needed to learn. We both talked, and felt we really communicated. It was silent, and then he came towards me and said, i dont want to go on a break!! i love you so much, you make me so happy- i think i just said it because it was the easy option, and i just didn't what to think!- I said, i knwo i made the mistake of brining the past up, which wasn't fair. WE talked about EVERYTHING- he told me things that made him frustrated with me, and i told him what i didn't like about him!- we both understood i think. He said at one point, he tries to make me happy, but when I am happy i annoy him? I think, due to my jealousy in the past, i haven't showed him the care and love that i should give him. When he said, the break idea was silly- he was cuddling me all night and kissing me- We didn't go out in the end, we went home early because he wanted to come back home and give me a cuddle.
I would like to know, what did he mean by the break idea? He said the next morning, I'd hate to go on a break with cause you mean so much to me and always make me smile. what did he mean when he initially said he wanted to go "on a break"? i feel its beacuse he showed me so much love, but because i was jealous of what he did in the past (cheated on me early in our relationship)that i never gave him the love he wanted or deserved. I was always very distant. but when i was just about to lose it- we talked and talked- and i'd like to know if nearly break up situations make it stronger?
Answer Hello Izzy,
When I speak to couples I make a distinction between a break and a break up. A break up is calling it quits. It's the divorce of the dating world.
A break is not officially ending it. It's an opportunity to get some space and time from one another to reevaluate the relationship and figure out the next step. It's the separation of the dating world.
You should read this link on taking a break (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_11_break.php). Now, of course I don't know if your boyfriend uses the terms the same way I do, but why don't you ask, now that things seem to be back on track?
I think the two of you learned that communication is absolutely key to the success of any relationship. Lay your cards on the table and everyone knows where everyone is coming from. With nothing hidden, you know if this is what you want in a partner or not.
I hope you two can continue to share your thoughts openly with one another. Good luck.
