AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question First of all my name is Nicole and I'm only 15.. hence why I'm so confused. I'm going out with a guy named Josh.. and we have only been together for a month as of yesterday. Lately I ave been thinking alot about how much a I care about him and how much I love having him around and how he makes me insanely happy.
Yesterday I told him I loved him. We had talked about it before cause he knew how much I liked him, and I believe that I do, like 100%. But even if I'm so sure.. how do I know?
Also me and him have gone farther than every guy I have been with and he is a Mormon. We are not breaking any of the rules but we both really enjoy the physical stuff but how do I enjoy it enough but not have it take over the emotional side of our relationship?
Another thing I wanted to know is.. Do high school relationships last very often? I'm texting Josh right now and I just realized how much it would hurt if we broke up, I don't need him.. but I want him.. it would really suck if we broke up.. Please Help Me! =(
Answer Hello Nicole,
So, first let me offer you a link to a report that tells you what love is (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/whatlove.php). Our definition of love changes the more we experience life and relationships. What is love to you today, may not be what you consider love later. But, now, this is love to you. You are in love.
The physical side of a relationship is very much attached to the emotional side. So, I would tell you not to try to separate the two, but also, stick with your morals and what you believe is right for you. You will feel passion and the urge to go farther, and that will be tied into emotions, but you need to use logic, also (which you already have been doing). Enjoy each other physically to a degree, and let your emotions grow, but don't let them take over.
High school relationships do last. There are thousands of success stories about couples who have been happily together for years, who started dating in high school. But, to be honest, most do not last. And, the reason has less to do with age and high school and more to do with experience and growing.
We generally start to fall in love for the first time as teens (in high school). But, when we first fall in love, often we idealize it and don't know (although we think we do) what we really want in a partner and a relationship. As the relationship continues and the novelty wears off, we often are ready to move on to the next relationship, take what we've learned and apply it here. As we continue to do this, we learn more about ourselves and narrow down what we want and need in a partner and relationship, until we finally understand it and find the person of our dreams.
Even most high school sweethearts who end up together happily usually go through a break at some point to get a taste of what else is out there before settling down. here's more on that (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_11_break.php).
I hope that you two enjoy this relationship, and if it continues, terrific. If it doesn't last, yes it will suck. It will be hard and it will hurt, but you will learn from it and look back and appreciate what you got from Josh. You may even end back up with him.
