AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question I'm 39yrs old never married! While on vacation a couple of months ago I met this fabulous man our strong connection was strong and we became instance flirty friends.I flew back home...We continued to communicate just about everyday.. I decided to fly up to see him (he is in Vancouver, I'm in Georgia)Our romance started from there we both completely fell for each other!! When i came home, he said that he want to move here to be with me in a couple months.. I felt we were on the same page emotionally! We wanted the same things!! Having dating the wrong guys all my life.. I finally found the man for me (
at least beginning of something wonderful!)Well I have not heard from him in about 10 days..I checked in with him to see if everything was ok and if he wanted to talk about anything..I think I came across too clingy/needy! Looking back in the events of 10 days ago.. I text a random "hi" e-mail twice. A little confused as to what is really going on with his life! I feel shut out especially being this far away! we talk about future plans, trips, dogs and kids! ( we both want marriage and kids) I am embarrassed for bothering him this past week..I should of let him be..I was following my heart and my gut but I have maybe sabotage my relationship!! My heart and stomach is twisted in knots!! I have heard from family and friends; "just go on with your life".."forget about him"..."if he loves you, he will come back to you"...I'm confused about what to do! Thanks for taking my question!
Answer Hello Lyn,
Let me first reassure you that you didn't sabotage this relationship in any way. If he's reacted to something you have done, then first of all the connection is not as strong as you had thought. If you care for someone deeply, a couple calls or texts won't make you run from them at top speed.
Also, if he's seeing something in you that doesn't fit what he's looking for in a partner, although it's painful, it's best to have gotten this out in the open early on, because you don't want to get more emotionally invested in a relationship, and find out later that it's not going to work.
But, I understand your concern. You've waited a lifetime for the right guy. You think you've found him, then he's suddenly turned cold, and you see your dreams gone.
My first concern was that after only a couple of months he said he'd decided to move to your locale. You don't want to do something this dramatic so early in a relationship. You need to go through the honeymoon stage first (6 to 18 months) to really find out how you feel without all of the butterflies that the honeymoon stage gives you. Read more about that here (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_10_fades.php).
I'd ease up a bit as far as calling him. Let him make the next move. He knows you are interested. So, calling or texting won't do anything else for the relationship. "What if he doesn't contact me?" you ask. Give it a few weeks, then shot him a simple "How ya doin'?" email or text.
If he still doesn't respond, realize that he's trying to tell you something without telling you anything. It's a hard pill to swallow, but you may have to be prepared to take it... but I hope not.
