AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question i am 27 yrs old and my partners 36 we have been together for nearly two years he wants to sleep with another woman and wants me to join in, at first it was fine with me and we managed to have a threesum with another woman and i thought that would be the end of him wanting to sleep with another woman but its not...i have told him that i dont want either of us to sleep with anyone else but each other if i wanted to sleep with someone else i would have stay single, i have begged everything u can think of to change his mind, and it has lend me to depression he says that in the past he has got bored sexually with his exs and ended up cheating on them hence the reason he wants to sleep with another woman instead of cheating what can i do to stop him from getting bored???
Answer Hello Tina,
You seemed to have opened Pandora's Box when you agreed to have a threesome with your partner. For some,these kinds of experiences are a one-time-fantasy come true. It's done, and there are fond memories of it. For others, it becomes a way of life, and both partners like incorporating a third person into their love-making, but all too often, couples try it and jealousy arises or, like in your case, one partner realizes it wasn't their cup of tea, and the other wants to continue.
So, what do you do once you are in this situation? Well, he knows you are not willing to experience a third person again, but he is pretty adamant about it. And, you can see that there is a pattern with him and sexuality. He claims to get bored easily and needs another woman to spice up his sex life. He says he doesn't want to cheat on you as he has done with exes in the past, so therefore sleeping with another woman is a logical choice in his mind.
If you don't want him sleeping with another woman, and he does... that's cheating! So, in other words, he wants your permission to cheat on you.
The problem here is that your partner can't seem to be pleased sexually with the same woman for very long. If we use his strand of logic, having sex with another woman will appease him, until he becomes bored with her, and must look for yet another woman, and so on and so on.
He will never be satisfied with any woman until he either gets help for what may be a sexual addiction, or until he and his partner (you, at this point) can find new ways to bring excitement to sex without bringing in new people.
Sex is exciting at first with anyone, because it is novel. But, that excitement definitely wanes. So, to keep couples from straying, many change things up. There are SO many ways to do this, and you two may want to try some new things to keep the fires burning in the bedroom.
Ideas:
• Role play, at home or even in public
• Try new positions
• Use toys
• Watch sexual videos together
• Dress for each other in sexual ways
• Have sex in new locations
• Do it at a different time of day
• Surprise him with sexual intimacy when he least expects it
If none of this helps, then it looks as though you have a man who cannot be satiated by you alone and you'll ave to decide if you want to stay with him (and his concubines) or if you will move on without him.
