Past/Present clients Hundreds of people from all walks of life. Experience: 25 years in the field of Personistics (innate personality characteristics)that includes: private personality profiling, Life Guidance Coaching, Business consulting, teaching numerous classes & seminars, lectures, and participating in radio talk shows.
Question currently my girlfriend for nearly 5 years is smoking just to hurt me.
About a year or two back, we vowed to stay off of drugs, and we were successful until she just started up again. She claims to do this when she's "Angry" at me and wants to get revenge.
She doesn't intend on giving me second hand smoke, nor does she do this for recreation or to relieve stress but she knows it hurts me because it does harm her.
I've already tried to throw her cigerettes away, but she wastes our own money just to buy new ones and hide them.
What do I do to stop this?
Answer Dear Dave,
Buy her a carton of cigarettes and tell her that if she wants to kill herself go right ahead. This is a power struggle. If you don't care she will probably quit. If you can use some humor with this then tell her that if she really wants to smoke, go ahead, but later on you will be getting good insurance on her and and when she dies of lung cancer you will get a new chick--so tell her to have fun.
Once the reward is taken away, which is to upset you, and you no longer get upset she will probably quit.
