AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Question ok me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years and we broke up for 7 months and got back together 4 months ago when he asked me back out he said we will do this and fix us i want to be with you but now he he is giving up i don't understand i need to let him realize that he is giving up to soon because i have faith in us but he thinks different i love him so much and don't want to loose him again when i know we can happen so my question is how can i get him to understand that it can and will work i know it can
Answer Hello Kimber,
You can't make anyone believe anything they don't want to believe. You can give him a list of reasons. You can show him how much he loves you. But, ultimately, he must make that decision on his own.
I'm guessing that when you two broke up last, you didn't put all the pieces in place that you needed to. There's a right way to take a break. You must set up parameters, a time-line, and plenty of space to reflect. Please take a look at this report to get more on that (http://www.couplescommittedtolove.com/report_11_break.php).
I think you should suggest a break the right way and see if he'll go for it. There's a good chance he won't. because he might think that when you broke up last, it was equivalent to a break. If so, even though it hurts, you can't beg him to come back. If you do or if you make him feel guilty, that won't save the relationship if he really wants to leave in his heart. It will only put off a break, and the relationship will be forced, uncomfortable, or just plain miserable.
So, you let him go. Give him his space and time. You fell sad and hurt and then in a few months try dating a few guys. See how that goes. After six months or so, see how you are feeling about him. If you still feel that desire to be with him, call him and get back in touch on a friendly basis and see if you can't start over as friends and see if it can be rebuilt into a successful relationship.
Sometimes you must tear down the old house before you erect a stable one.
