AboutKindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.
Experience I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.
Question Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years and we have a 6 month old son. He's not cheating on me right now but he has sooo many times in the past. Girls have texted me from his phone,answered his phone,I've seen pictures of him and my former friend together on his phone. He cheated and chosed one of my old friends over me a year ago and would go around saying how he didnt like me and whatever and I was so embarrassed and hurt the whole school knew so I stopped going. He also cheated on me with my best friend of almost 8 years a year ago and it hurts me so dam much even to this day. I really miss her and want to hang out with her again but it hurts too much. Hes not cheating on me anymore but I feel like he is also embarrassed of me because he doesnt seem like he really wants to out really in public with me and he refuses to introduce me to his friends. I raelly want to spend my life with him but because of all this past baggage its hard to picture him as the perfect boyfriend who'll be there for me. If there was somehow I could let all of these negative feelings go I feel like it could greatly improve my life and allow me to feel good about being with him because sometimes I do feel embarrassed and dumb when others see me with him when they know he would cheat on me with them.
Answer Dear Denise,
Although you do need to let go of the negative feelings for your own emotional health, I really don't think he's the guy for you. I know the two of you are young, but usually a cheater remains a cheater throughout life. I don't think he's ready for a commitment, obviously, but you already have a child. I don't read anything in your question that indicates you can count on him. If you really want to spend the rest of your life with him, then you are going to have to come to terms with who he is and it sounds like the baggage exists because he hurts you. I think you are being emotionally abused in this relationship and it really isn't healthy. Someone that doesn't introduce you to others is not someone that you are going to feel good with. That is just too much disrespect to put up with. I think you are having trouble getting rid of the negative feelings because he keeps supplying you with more negative experiences. I think the only way you are going to feel better about yourself is to quit gauging your value on the way he treats you. Some women can do that and stay with the guy, but most cannot. I recommend that you contact a woman's shelter in your area and see if they have a group that addresses emotional abuse. If you left school, get a GED. Start focusing on your baby and your future.
I wish you well and hope you get on the road to happiness, soon.
Kind Regards,
KD
www.eingedi.us
