How to Strengthen Your Relationship/HELP PLEASE:/


Hi I'm 21yrs old I met my now boyfriend 8 months ago but we didn't start dating till 4months ago. When we weren't together he always wanted to hang out with me. Now he really doesn't I only see him on the weekends which will be only Friday and sometimes Saturday and we only live 10minutes from each other which is pretty pathetic. We both work mon-fri and have the work hours. I know he does care about me but I don't understand why we don't see each other more. He's asked to meet my parents because he wants them to know who I'm with. I think the main part of me not seeing him so much anymore is because he brought his cousin down to where we live from where he is from and I guess he doesn't want his cousin to feel left out. I understand where he is coming from but he needs to understand that I need his time to. I'm just getting tired of the situation and about ready to call it quits. I really don't want to because he really is such an amazing guy he's the very few rare fishes you find out there In the sea and I would really hate to leave. I've had so much patience with this situation and I have addresed to him how I feel and he said it would get better and it hasn't he told me he wouldn't wanna jeopardize what we have. Can you please help me should I move on or keep trying?

Hi Emily,

Sorry for my delay.  I think you are looking deeply at this situation and it sounds like you are most invested.  It also sounds like you might even be scared to lose him.  His cousin being there may indeed affect his decisions right now, and I can appreciate his not wanting cousin to feel left out.  That said, I think he needs to be clear in exactly what he would like and what time he has available for you.  I don't want to be demanding in my request but rather exploratory in my questions and needs.  For example, I might ask him exactly what the relationship means to him?  This can be a wonderful way of knowing more than about time spent together but how he feels when he is away and even get him thinking about what you may be going through.  Next, I would ask him how he sees his future?  This could tell me where I might fit in and how he might realistically have the time and dedication for a relationship.  Then share your hopes (not in an upset way but in a loving, caring way) and see what he says.  Good luck!  Stuart

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT


how to help relationship. How to address issues within relationship......I am pretty open here


20th year in the field. Managed and directed clinical programs. Now, I work out of my own office as well as supervise counselors

California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists

The California Therapist

B.A. Psychology M.S. Counseling Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

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Hero of the Heart - Covina Valley USD

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I work with individuals, couples, families and children

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