How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Husband wants out

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Question
I didn't realize we were having problems. My husband says our lives are too stressful & combative. We don't even fight & we do everything together.

He is still in the house. He is going to counseling with me. He says he will give his A effort.

However, he texts his technician at work & then deletes her texts although he swears there is nothing going on. He no longer touches me, yet he calls me every day at lunch.

He says he is leaving after the holidays, yet he makes plans for the future.

How do I handle this? He says if I tell him to leave now he will.

I can't eat or sleep. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want our marriage to be over, yet I don't know what steps to take to save it.

Answer
Hi Lynda!  I cannot imagine what you are going through but good for you in seeking counseling.  I am guessing this has just started.  He may be in a state of confusion as well as depressed.  Has this come up?  What is the counselor saying?  Lean on them for support, as perhaps individual sessions to best support you can be explored.  This is an important time to reflect on what is going on and best take care of you, as opposed to making rash decisions (telling him to leave in anger or lashing out in other ways, for example, where many get stuck).  Lean on family and friends for support through this.  Good luck!

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT

Expertise

how to help relationship. How to address issues within relationship......I am pretty open here

Experience

20th year in the field. Managed and directed clinical programs. Now, I work out of my own office as well as supervise counselors

Organizations
California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists

Publications
The California Therapist

Education/Credentials
B.A. Psychology M.S. Counseling Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Awards and Honors
Hero of the Heart - Covina Valley USD

Past/Present Clients
I work with individuals, couples, families and children

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