How to Strengthen Your Relationship/finance issues with boyfriend.

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QUESTION: if i want my boyfriend to spend more time with me, do i keep texting him on facebook because he texted me. so do i text him back?

ANSWER: Dear Lexus,
Perhaps it's my age, or simply my perception of geography, but if the two of you are within the same basic region of the world, you should be able to spend time actually together, and if you're not, then I don't consider facebook to be a real relationship for people who consider themselves boyfriend and girlfriend.  Facebook is more like the technical advancement of what used to be called penpals.
Let him know you want real time, not just text time!
I wish you well.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz
www.thelandofgoshen.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: is it a bad thing if i keep on paying for my boyfriend's ticket to come visit me? i have been doing it every since we've been together. we been together for 10 months. he hasn't been paying his own way because he said that he doesn't have any money. i was doing it because i told him that i understood his situation. am i being taken advantage of? or am i just being a great girlfriend by helping him out?

Answer
Dear Lexus,
As I said in my first answer, perhaps my age is affecting my perspective here, but if you're paying his way to visit and he's only texting in response to your attempts to communicate when you're apart, it sounds pretty one sided in the relationship.  It truly sounds like this is a much higher priority in your life than it is his.  I don't know all the circumstances, but a good relationship requires both parties to make it a priority or at least an equal effort.  I don't know what his part of this relationship entails, but if it seems out of balance enough for you to be inquiring relationship advice, it doesn't sound like you feel very satisfied in it.
My advice to you is to tell him you'd like something more than facebook texts then try a week or two without you being the one to make all effort, and cover expenses and see what happens.  It could be he is busy and strapped financially and really does care.  If he does make the effort to contact you personally, then go from there.  If he insists on facebook text as your communication form, then be very brief in the first response or two, then decide if this is really your idea of a relationship.  If his behavior seems rather cavalier or preoccupied, then that may be a warning sign for you to consider other options.
I do wish you well and hope you find a happiness.
KD Liz

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger

Expertise

I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.

Experience

I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.

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