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How to Strengthen Your Relationship/"i'm not sure how i fell about a relationship"

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I'm 41 she is 37. She is European but lives in the US and I'm from the states.  We had a short relationship last year at this time that ended badly (many factors involved w/ her ex bf).  Then out of no where she contacted me and we started to hang out again doing sporting activities.  I told myself that she was just a friend and nothing else.  Well the more we hung out I started to become attracted to her again.  We were having fun.  So before Christmas we ended up kissing and then she said this may not be right because of what happened.  I said we'll take it slow and see what happens.  
A few days ago I told her that i wanted a relationship with her that i really enjoy being around her and she makes me happy. Also said That if she doesn't have the same feeling just let me know and i will back off.
Her reply was:  "I thought you wanted something more.  I have great time doing things with you but I'm not sure how I feel about a relationship..."   What the heck does this mean?  I left it off as that I was no rush for something that feels right.

I have not heard from her since and now she is away until 2/10.  For now I feel I shouldn't contact her until she contacts me. I have no idea if she likes someone else, she doesn't want to commit just yet, or she is scared about a relationship bc it went bad last time.  Euro woman are so hard to read!  Thank you very much

Answer
Dear JO

I think what she meant was that she had been sensing you wanted more than just a friendship but that she was not sure she was ready for more than friendship, for whatever reason.  If you are good with just being her friend for awhile it might be worth the wait since you do enjoy doing things as friends. Many friends end up with the best relationships.

As to contacting her I would go ahead and contact her just as a friend and be very casual about it and ask how she is doing and just don't mention what you said before. You might say, "How's my friend doing?" Or, you might also say, "Let's just remain friends for now  and then see how things go. I am just fine with being friends for now."

Follow your gut feelings but if you do not contact her then it might cause more awkwardness than if you do go ahead as friends. I think that if you proceed as friends, at some point, probably soon, she will volunteer what she meant from your last conversation.

I think the less you make it a big deal, the easier it will be for her to continue to be friends and also let you know what she meant about what she said and then you will know better what you want to do.

Hope this helps and I hope for the best for you.

Sharon  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall

Experience

Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Education/Credentials
Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

Past/Present Clients
Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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