How to Strengthen Your Relationship/wht to do



i have been in a relationship with a girl for the past 5 months.

Before entering into relationship i had made her clear that if she had any intimate relationship with any other guy previously i would not enter into a relationship with her. I myself never had any previous affair. (pls keep in mind that i am an indian and we find it hard to accept previous relationships of our partners).

At that time she told me that she had no intimate relationship in the past. The only thing she told was that she was kissed by her previous boyfriend.

I accepted it and believed her at that time because she told this on swear and i found her honest.

However later on she told me many lies and also changed some versions about her previous relationship.

For example she had told me that after her breakup with her ex boyfriend in year 2010 she never met him. However later on one day she told me that she had met him that year though she didn't do anything with him.

She also has broken many swears many times.

Recently she promised me that she will not talk to a guy with whom she was kind of close but little short of relationship. However she was found talking to that guy.

She told me that he himself approached her and she was not able to ignore otherwise it would have been very awkward.

On the other hand when she becomes suspicious of my talking to any other girl she becomes very angry and wreak havoc.

My problem is that i also suffer from minor OCD, which i had made her aware of.

Partly because of her lies and partly because of my OCD, this relationship has become a pain for me. I have lost my peace of mind and i have no trust at all on my girlfriend.

I want to break up with this girl but the problem is that I love this girl a lot and it makes me very sad whenever i think of parting with her. I have also been intimate with this girl.
Because of this girl i am suffering a lot. My studies and career have ruined.

However, this girl tells me that she loves me a lot and i should trust her.

I don't know what to do. Even if you suggest me break up please tell me a way so that we both dont get hurt a lot.

Please help me......

Dear Monty,
Trust is a vital part of a good foundation in a relationship.  If you have trust issues, you will have to work those out.  I suggest that you simply discuss this with her.  You will have to be honest and let her know that you find this trust issue painful and difficult to deal with.  I suggest a month break from each other and see where you are at the end of that time.  If you miss her more than distrust her, you will have to determine to let go of her past.  If, on the other hand, you find yourself with more peace and the only anxiety you experience is thinking about her, then perhaps the two of you should go your separate ways.
My suggestion is take a month break and contemplate your feelings and your trust issue.
I wish you well, and hope you find happiness.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger


I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.


I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.

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