How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Fight with a boyfriend


My boyfriend and i have been together for 11months now. going great so far. we love each other i belive and were committed, yet some things are now sitting well with me.i dont know what to do or how to feel. a few nights ago we started arguing about him being distant and not excited about doing stuff together. A few nights ago we had plans just to hang out, half an hour before we were to meet he cancelled saying he wanted to watch a game with friends instead. i argued he apoligised and we met the following afternoon at his house, while we were in his bedroom. his ex walked in asking to speak to him a minute.Her grandmother who lives a few meters away from by boyfriend had died. she was at the wake and wanted a drop home for herself and a few of her relatives. At the same time one of my boyfriend friends asked if he could give him a drop as well. They were all heading in the same area. He saw the annoyance in my face. the ex supposedly apologise for bargin in and said good night to me. my boyfriend then quickly agreed to drop everyone to their destinations. there was no room for me in the car, so i stayed at home boiling. after about 45 minutes my boyfriend returned with ice cream asking me "what happen"..... after i blew up at him explaining how angry i was was and how disrespected i felt he was like" why i getting on so' and being defensive.  we argued for hours and i express that i did not want he to touch me. To me all he kept repeating was that he loved me, barely apoligising and expressing that i should not be upset for that "small thing" it almost turned into a fight but he walked away returning a few hours after, sneaking into bed. we slept quietly.In the morning there we no words said. i got up bathe, packed up a few stuff and left. A few minutes later he message me again the words were " just want u to know i will always love u". i did not respond. i deleted him off my bbm and contact list. i dont know what to do. how to feel. some advice is needed.

Dear Marie,
I let this question sit for a few days, for two reasons.  One, I can't tell you what to do or how to feel, and two, I think "nature" will take it's course in this situation.  If he's the kind of guy that can't say, "No" to anyone, then you will have to decide whether or not you can live with that.  Only you can decide if this is a situation that is a deal breaker.  If putting others ahead of you was an uncommon event, I'd say, "Don't over-react," but if he also cancels plans and tells you he'd rather hang out with a friend, I'd say that is an indicator he's doing his best to move on.  
To be honest, I don't have a good feeling about the future of this relationship.  If his friends and exes are more important than a committed relationship, then that's where he is at this time.  You can't change that and hours of fighting seems like a waste of time and beneath your value.  
Why spend time waiting on him to be with you, only to find out he has other priorities and then fight when you are together?  If it were me, I'd be less available and see what happens.
I wish you well.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger


I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.


I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.

©2016 All rights reserved.