How to Strengthen Your Relationship/can i save my relationship

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QUESTION: Thanks for the reply.I slept with my ex about 2 month after I got with my current partner so about 2 and a half year ago.the only good that come from the relationship is my children..if I could delete my ex from my ex I would but we've got children together so that's impossible..I love my current partner and want it to work.is there anything I can do

ANSWER: Hello again, JM,

I would like to know when your current guy discovered that you slept with your ex. Was it right away (2.5 years ago) or was it more recent? Has he been hurt ever since the incident?

You say he's only been distant recently. That leads me to think that he either only discovered your indiscretion recently, he's known for a time but has been masking his pain, or that the way he's acting has to do with something else.

Your thoughts?

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QUESTION: I told him straight away..he says he wants to ne with me but is so cold and makes me feel worthless can we make this work?

ANSWER: Hello again, JM,

So, you told him right away, but you say that he's started acting cold toward you recently. That makes me think that maybe he's reacting to something else. If he had been cold ever since finding out you slept with the other guy, I would assume it's due to the indiscretion, but seeing that there was quite a time lag between the two, it could be for some other reason. Do you have any idea what was going on with this all started?

Have you asked him what's going on? Have you considered bringing up the time you slept with your ex and asking if that is affecting him today?

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QUESTION: I have asked him.I've begged him to tell me what's wrong he said he doesn't know or maybe he's standing up for himself.do you think I cam save our relationship

Answer
Hello again, JM,

To be honest, unless you two confront the issue, you will be experiencing an unfulfilling relationship or it will probably end. That doesn't mean it has to, though. At this point, the ball is in his court. He needs to be able to articulate what it is that is bothering him. If he doesn't, he'll probably grow to resent whatever it is that is upsetting him and you will grow to frustration, because you don't know what it is you can do to remedy the situation.

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