How to Strengthen Your Relationship/immaturity?


Hi im a 23 year old female and ive been with my boyfriend almost a year and a half. Though this is my first relationship I feel as if im a little ahead of my boyfriend when it comes to maturity.Since ive known him he has been in a depressed mood, he hardly goes out with his friends, battles constant headaches and feels like he is a general failure.It seems the littlest stumbling block gets him down and time and time again he wishes he werent alive. I support him in everything he does n constantly try to show him how great he is but he ignores me. At this stage im upset..he isnt trying and seems to be content in this state.I tried to tell him that he needs to seek help or ayleast try to change his thinking he simply ignored me and carried on a completely different conversation. At present seems to be avoiding talking to me. I really love him but he needs to take this matter seriously and speak to me genuinely. I have avoided texting him so far as I think ive let him get away with enough. He pushes me to be a better person ...isn't it time I push him? At this point he needs to want to change...

Hello Riley,

It really does sound like he might be suffering from depression. Depression often manifests itself as a lack of motivation. I'm sure he doesn't want to feel moody, lonely or have physical discomfort, but his depression may be his worst enemy. I know you say you have tried talking with him and he's not willing to move forward.

You may need to tell him that you are going to set up an appointment for him. If he is reluctant or unwilling, do you think that you could go to his family and talk to them about convincing him to get some professional help? You can also go see a therapist alone and ask them for tips to get him to come in. If that doesn't work, you may need to threaten him with either getting help or you are going to leave. I know that sounds harsh, but it may be what he needs to get moving.

You tell him you love him so much, that you hate seeing him this way and that you are willing to support him 100 percent, but he needs to be willing to get help. If he doesn't it, you can't watch him just wither away and although you love him, you won't love the relationship if he doesn't start to try to change. The truth is, you need to do what's healthy for your emotions, too. You can't be happy in a relationship where he's depressed all the time, no matter how much you love him.

It's a tough line to walk. You need to be supportive, but you also need to push him to get healthy. I wish the best for you both.

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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