How to Strengthen Your Relationship/to make my relationship strong
I have been in a relationship for 1 year 7 months. My boyfriend never understand me, he never understand my feelings. I know he loves me and he can't live without me, I too love him but some times I just feel that he doesn't care for me. When ever he feel angry he always use to scold me by using bad words. It really hurts me. But I always compromise with him because I can't live without him. But some times I can't tolerate and that I use to say him that we are not made for each other, so we should break up. When I use to say about break up he always promise me that he will not repeated what ever I hates. But again after 3-4 days he is the same. I am really confuse what to do. I need your help. Please tell me what to do, how to tolerate him, how to change him, how to tell him what I feel and what I want from him.
I wonder if he's always been like this or if he has gotten used to the relationship and is now taking it for granted. That's not to say he doesn't care for and love you, but what tends to happen after a bit is we become complacent with our partners. At first we do whatever we can to make a good impression and during the honeymoon stage everything is wonderful (that last 6 to 18 months). But, after that, often we start to act with our partners the way we will act from then on, and he's not showing you respect.
I believe he probably wants to, but just falls back into old habits. The thing is, you can't change him. That's something he needs to do, but you can let him precisely what you are feeling and what you need. Use "I" statements for that. Here's a link that will guide you (http://couplescommittedtolove.com/a/reports/make-it-all-about-you/
). Be sure you are now attacking him so that he can listen and won't feel he needs to defend himself.
From what you are telling me, he will probably try and change, but after a few days will go back to his old ways. So, at that point, you need to draw the line and repeat what you had previously said, but this time explain what will happen f he doesn't make good on his promise, and what I believe may need to happen is that you tell him you will need to take a break from the relationship and him (http://couplescommittedtolove.com/a/reports/taking-a-break/
This will probably be the most difficult part of this whole ordeal, because I know you understand him and don't want to lose him. Yes, taking a break can be a bit of a risk, but you say he loves you and can't live without you. So, give him a taste of what it would be like to live without you due to his behavior. You tell him that you need a month or so to ind of figure things out and to see where you want the relationship to go, and to give him time to discover if the relationship is important enough for him to make a real change.
When you come back together discuss what has changed and what needs to happen if the relationship is going to last, and then give him the opportunity to prove to you that he has made amends. The thing is, it sounds like he's a guy with a hot temper and then regrets what he says afterward. If this is who he is, he will always be like this, but if you are both aware of it, he can tone it down and maybe you two can even say something like, whenever he starts to get heated, you let him know this is one of those times and he can go take a 5-minute walk or breather so that he doesn't elevate his anger to that level.