How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Possible to reconcile?


We broke up since 8 mths ago...yeay it's quite recent and felt like years have passed on...
Initially I called it off first seeing that the relationship didnt feel like before...felt as if we have drifted or had lots of misunderstanding. Both of us were sad about it but at that spur of moment, I made up my mind to break it off to prevent dragging any further. Then after some time, I started to want to reconcile with him, by then he decided that maybe we should take it slow...then he asked me to meet him, we went cycling...but things went awry. It felt like tt's e final stage, he snapped! From then onwards, nothing that I said could eventually work things out. Somehow, it was very regretful how I handled rash-headed I was...gradually, he seems to be moving on...but still contact me at times...but suddenly never hear from him anymore...
Though I felt like there's hope, but 8 mths have already passed on...any possibility to reconcile?

Hello Knotted,

You can't beat yourself up over what has happened in the past. It's so much easier to know what you SHOULD HAVE done, that it is to know WHAT TO DO. In other words, we see our mistakes after we make them. The best thing we can do is not become regretful, but instead to learn from our experiences and make the choices the next time that we think will take us to our desires.

So, what should you do now? You can't chase him. The relationship was going down hill initially. that's why you broke up with him. And, when you tried to reconcile, it sounds like things got even worse. Now, at this point, he's not even reaching out to you. I know it hurts, but if you continue to chase him, you'll push him farther away. And, if you focus solely on him and "what could have been", you'll never be able to move on.

You need to accept that at this point the relationship is not going to work out. He needs to be able to move forward, and you need to accept that it's not going to recover in this circumstance. That's hard, but you need to try to move on and focus less on getting him back as well as eventually considering dating again.

Here's the thing. Once you two can be comfortable not being together, there's that chance that you can start again from scratch, and, who knows, you might be able to rebuild this thing, but that's not going to happen until you both are allowed to end this relationship the way it is and maybe reconnect as friends down the line.  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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