How to Strengthen Your Relationship/what to do


I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
It's been a YEAR since i broke up with my boyfriend i thought we would never see each other again since it didn't end in good terms.
a couple of months ago he contacted me about some movies he left at my house i said sure come by and get them and when he did he said he was sorry for everything that he said to me.

I said i was sorry to and some way so how we made up and we started seeing each other again, the reason i broke up with him its because he never wanted to do anything going out on dates etc and he would always have excuses for everything, so this time around he took me out on dates and everything was fine for like a month but recently he invited me to the movies and never heard from him until the next day.

He said his phone was acting up and that he tried several times to reach me until his brother came over to his house and asked him if his gotten his messages and that's when he realized his phone wasn't sending his messages he then said he tried to contact me through his yahoo Messenger. I never got any of his messages I thought something happened to him or something.

Suddenly his yahoo messenger was working the next day when he was explaining to me that he tried to contact me several times the night before and didn't hear from me, i said my phone is working fine and I've always gotten your messages but i didn't get any last night and he said he wasn't lying that it was the truth. He kept asking me if i was mad I was upset because i got stood up but i kept my cool because i forgot my Ipad at his house and i don't want to have an argument and not talk again for a year and not get my Ipad. But i did want to say i was annoyed by the whole deal because he started doing the same thing about his cell not working and trying to contact me through different methods which i never got any messages from from him until the next all of a sudden his messenger and cell phone works.

He was acting very different as if he was offended, he said well i guess your busy so i will send you a message once i get my phone fixed or through yahoo if i cant get it fixed and logged off. i sent him several messages that night with no reply, he sounded so sincere when we got back together and also he was very nice he would cook breakfast for me he was very willing to be a better boyfriend that's why i'm thrown off by his sudden change of attitude and i think he sent no messages from yahoo otherwise i would have got them that is why i'm annoyed by his sudden change.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, what he started doing sounded so familiar i just don't feel wanting to continue if he had to do other things or wanted to cancel i would accepted that rather than fabricating something up...the Cell phone excuse is so old i'm over it. he get mad at me for wanting to break up but i'm tired of playing games and i don't want to do that all over again once was enough, but its so hard for me to reason with him because his very explosive and get upset right away takes things to the extreme and then we both can't communicate and talk about what annoys us about each other...

I'm stuck in a dilemma because i don't want to be the one ending the relationship again but he's starting to act the same way he was unreliable and unwilling to work on the relationship, he asked me not to be upset that he really tried to contact me...but the fact is i never got any messages from him i worried if he was ok, but it's the same story about the bad cell phone and yahoo not sending messages...i have self respect and dignity and i'm not into playing anymore games because that's what it sounds like.

What should i do? we were having a great time together he would always contact me and made me feel he was really putting the effort in the relationship but i'm starting to see his abusive ways again with his attitude.

Thank you so much for your time...

Hi Jennifer,

I am sorry for taking so long to get back to you.

Relationships are not really supposed to be all that difficult.  Neither you or I believe that both the cell phone and Yahoo were on the blink at the same time.  I suggest you talk with him.  Tell him that you feel he is getting back into the old ways that caused the break up before and that you are not interested in that kind of relationship.  Then ask him to demonstrate that he is not playing games.  Then if he does not prove to you to your satisfaction he is not playing games tell him that he does not get a third strike and you are out of here.

You are your only priority.  If you don't trust him move on.

Good luck,

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Tom Blair


Published author. Questions related to strengthening and saving relationships and marriages. Sex coaching questions. Questions related to mature singles re-entering the dating world after a death of a spouse or a divorce.


Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Sexual Relationship Coach Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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