How to Strengthen Your Relationship/HELP!
QUESTION: I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I went home for wintee break and a week later he told me he was done with all my assuming the wrong thing instead of talking to him. We agreed to take a break because I'm currently 2000 miles away from him. How do I fix our relationship?
I've been working on my issues and everyone around me has notice a huge difference in my attitude.
I love him to death and we have a great relationship. I have been through a lot in the past year with my health that he never knew about. I bottled all my feelings up about my sickness and it poured out into my relationship.
My boyfriend has always given me a chance and he's a great listener. I'm just afraid that he has had enough. We both agreed to sit down face to face when we get back to school. I have really changed and I dont know how to show him.
ANSWER: Hello Jenna,
Before I can advise, can you offer more details? What is he upset about specifically? What issues were you having? What health issues did you deal with? Does he know about them now? How did those bottled feelings manifest in the relationship? Why do you think he asked for a break instead of breaking up?
Looking forward to your responses.
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QUESTION: He is upset with the fact that I don't ask for more questions I just assumed things instead. And I've just been negative overall. My doctor told me I have pre cancer cells and I had to wait a whole year for further testing. I then had a really bad allergic reaction to some yeast infection medicine that caused more problems (kidney infections and bladder stones). I'm 100% fine now. He doesn't know yet we agreed to talk when we are both at school and I feel thats a face to face conversation. I think that I was just in a negative spot and took a lot out on our relationship. I was embarrassed and I just gave up hope that I would ever be okay. Women issues are hard. I don't know why he agreed. I brought up the idea for a break cause he was just spilling out his feelings over text messaging and wouldn't let me at least call. I needed to work on myself before I could work on us
Hello again, Jenna,
Well, the first thing is that hopefully you have set up guidelines for your break. If you haven't, you may want to look this over (http://couplescommittedtolove.com/a/reports/taking-a-break/
) and go back and be sure you both agree to the guidelines.
So, I am going to assume that you two have decided to take a break until you get back to school at which time you will talk. If that's the case, that's probably when you need to tell him about the health issues and that you really weren't yourself, and you apologize for your actions. Odds are he'll just be pleased to know you are okay.
Let him know that all is fine now and that you're back to yourself and you'd love to jump back into the relationship again. The thing is, you really need to have changed. If not, he'll lose faith in you. So, if you have really changed, this should work out just fine, I would think.