How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Cheating?


After 15 years of living together, one night during sex, my girlfriend said, "Your penis is small".

How does she know it is small? Was she able to compare my erect penis with another erect penis mentally.

She was a virgin when we first had sex 15 years ago. At that time, she commented that my penis was large.

When I asked her whether she had cheated on me, she looked down and said, "No"

What do you think?

Dear Ma,

Whether she's cheated or not, that's a horrible thing to say to a man.  These days, there are many images of male and female private anatomy, both available and accessible, so she wouldn't have necessarily cheated physically to make a comparison.  Again, though, that's just something that is best left unsaid to a partner, especially during the act.

I can't judge whether or not she's been with another man, but she has obviously become aware of more information, or trying to offend you . . . Sometimes girlfriends "talk," and sometimes people look at photos.  Men are not the only ones who seek graphic sexual imagery.  Unless she is trying to get you to break up with her, I can't imagine a woman saying something like that if she is cheating.  Usually when someone is cheating, they attempt to be more discreet and less verbal, so as not to accidentally let something slip.

The head down with the answer, "No" is really not enough of an answer.  If you want to get to the heart of this matter, then I suggest a question that cannot be answered with just a "yes" or "no."  Perhaps you should ask her why she said what she did at the time she did.  Make sure you want to know the answer, though.

I'm sorry for what you are going through.
Kind Regards,
KD Liz  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Kindred Beisinger penname K D Elizabeth Beisinger


I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.


I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.

©2016 All rights reserved.