How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Help

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Trey and I
Trey and I  
My boyfriend Trey and I have been together for 3 months, but we've dated in the past. We live an hour away from each other and normally only get to see each other on the weekends (if that) our work schedules are contradicting because he works days and I work evenings. We are moving in together at the end of the month. The thing is. "I cheated on him", I was really good friends with one of my coworkers and he kissed him. Got on Facebook and messaged him. Trey is scared that I'm going to end up leaving him or cheating on him. I tried to explain but he would even listen. It's confusing because when I tell him I love him, sometimes he'll say it back, but most of the time I'll get something along the lines of "I don't love you yet". Since we don't get to see each other and we hardly talk but the normal good morning, how was work? , good night, I feel like we're not even dating anymore. But when were together I couldn't be happier? I'm confused and I don't know if we should break up or if I need to stick it through till we move in together because no matter what, he'll be coming home to ME. I won't feel the loneliness that I do now. Please help us, he could potentially be the man that I want to marry one day from the way that he treats me when we are together..

-Devan

Answer
Hello Devan,

I don't think you will like my advice, but I hope you will consider it. To sum up, you are contemplating either breaking up with Trey or moving in with him. That's an "either/or" situation, whereas you can actually test the water and hold off on both. I do not recommend the two of you moving in together just yet, after three months, especially since you have recently kissed another guy and he has difficulty saying he loves you.

Your relationship still needs to develop a bit more. You need to see what that kissing thing was all about, and if you are having urges for other guys and why you did it, because you don't want to be living with him and end up kissing someone else. That leads to resentment and a bad living situation. He hasn't gotten to "love" yet with you. You don't want to commit to him so fully that you are willing to sign a lease with him and then he still struggles telling you he loves you. You'll be angry and hurt and feel trapped now that you are living together. And, if you pressure him to say he loves you before he's ready, he'll be the one who is resentful and feeling trapped.

Put off moving in for at least three more months. If love is truly there and it was meant to be, three months won't kill you, but if it's not meant to be, these three months will save you a lot of hassle and pain down the road.

In the meantime, keep dating the boy. You may not have a lot of quantity time with him, so the little time you have, make it quality time. You can even do some of these things that couples who are physically far from each other do (http://couplescommittedtolove.com/a/reports/long-distance-relationships/). Hope you will consider my suggestion.

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