How to Strengthen Your Relationship/My friend needs guidance


Hello! My best friend Fim is going through a painful situation. He is head over heels in love with her cousin Sara. They remained in relationship for almost 8 months. She was very nice with him. She's a decent kind of person but she use to humiliate him badly by abusing him and using foul language. He's extremely humble kind of person and he is not able to make her respect him. But now the whole matter has become complicated. She has become extremely harsh and rude,she has started saying him that YOU ARE NOT A SINCERE PERSON bla bla. He's unaware of why she's acting in such an awkward way. He's confused if she has got a misapprehension but she is acting in an extremely immature way. She does not respect him. He wants her to love him the way he do. Please guide him what to do to get everything back to normal.

Hello Maria,

The problem here is the real person has emerged. She is pushing him away for some reason.  Women like men who are strong and he is too easily pushed around. He needs to get some self-respect and some strength. Another problem is that we cannot change another person in what we want them to be. People are who they are. One thing that is difficult for some people to accept and that is that people do exactly what they want to do. No excuses for bad behavior. Her behavior shows the real person so is that what he wants in his life forever?

People are usually on their best behavior in the beginning of a relationship and then as they relax a little bit the real person comes out. Who would want a person who is rude to them? If he is a nice guy then he needs to pick a nice woman, not someone who puts him down.

I know a young man who had a girlfriend who treated him badly. She took advantage of him and basically used him to buy her things and to be her taxi service. He finally had enough and told her very boldly that she could no longer treat him like that and if she couldn't treat him nicely then he was out of the relationship.  In this case it worked. She realized that he was a valuable person and started treating him well.

I do not know if that would work or not. If he cannot be strong and really mean it there is no chance it would work. If he finally gets enough self-respect that he no longer will listen to her say bad things to him and learn how to go home or walk out of the room when she talks like that and tells her that he no longer will listen to her bad remarks, then she might change and have more respect or him.  

However, it sounds like she was that way, somewhat, right from the start and so she might not change at all and just get worse. In that case he needs to find someone who would be nicer to him.

I do hope this helps.


How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall


Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

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Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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