How to Strengthen Your Relationship/will he ever leave her for me?


Been with my partner for 2 years but he has had a girlfriend all along. He sees to my every need and is wonderful we speak of marriage all the time and he really wants to give me the best. Since xmas I have been uncertain about where I stand as his girlfriend spent xmas with him and his family and now they both on leave they are together everyday and I hardly see him. I trust him and I know he won't be disloyal as it means everything to him but he says he is trying to let her off easy without getting hurt. Should I walk out and let them work things through even though it would kill me??

Yes.  Walk out.  He isn't really with you.  He keeps you like a dear pet, taking care of you, but not being committed to you.  

And, think about this.  If he is the kind of man who would live in such dishonesty and lies, how could you ever feel secure that he won't be doing the same thing to you, even if he did leave her?  You WILL NOT be the exception!  This is about his undeveloped level of maturity - not about love.  No amount of love can make someone more mature than they are.

Look for someone who will be willing to deal with all the issues life brings, WITH you - not leading a double life, lying.

You deserve better!

Have faith in yourself!

Jan Harrell, PhD

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Jan Harrell, PhD


I believe I can address any questions and concerns a person might have.


I have been a clinical psychologist for 32 years. I co-authored a book on relationships, Love Again ~ Creating Relationships Without Blame, with my husband of 40 years, who is also a psychologist. I have taught at UCLA and at Southern Oregon University. I was the psychology columnist for the magazine, Make You Happen! for 1 1/2 years.

I have a doctorate in Counseling Psychology from the University of Southern California.

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