How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Is it mistrust?


A guy claims to be in love with me. I don't love him the way he does but I always respect his feelings and I consider him my bestfriend. last days he was busy in enjoying the weddings of his cousins. I waited for his texts. I called him almost 3 times but he ignored me. He didn't give me even half an hour. I didn't ask for his romantic texts. Giving someone your 30mins during 24hours of busy routine is not a big deal. He also said that he's suck of my Unromantic behaviour with him. Today he gave me a shock in the form of missapprehensions that are unable for me to beleive in. He asked me about the boys I'm in contact with. Then he showed anger that why did you talk to the brother of your teacher? You shouldn't have any concern with him. Actually I never talked to him. I don't know what my friend is talking about. He has always been extremely caring and a respect giving person. I hate him the way he's treating me now

Dear Jane,

This guy is not good for you and if you keep being with him he probably would end up being abusive. He sounds very controlling. Guys who are abusive and controlling want all your attention and do not want you to even have family as friends. Sometimes guys can be friends for awhile and then when they fall in love the real person comes out. He wants to stay in control. It is okay if he is busy and can't talk to you but then he does not want you to talk to anyone else.

It is hard to say for sure what is going on if he has always been respectful in the past, but this new behavior is not good and doesn't sound very good for you.  You need to be strong and very honest with him. If he tells you that you should not be talking to your brother, etc. tell him that you are perfectly capable of talking to whomever you wish to talk to and he has no control over that.

Another thing you can do that sometimes works is to tell a guy that you will not talk to him until he can be respectful of you and then see what he does. If he apologizes and then starts treating you better then still be careful and watch his behavior. If he gets all angry and worse then it really is time or you to move on to other friends.

We teach others how to treat us and so it is important that you stand up for yourself. Also, it is not a good idea to contact him more than once when he does not respond but to wait until he does contact you. Otherwise, it looks like you are needy and can't live without him and that is not good. Let him chase you and do not crowd him. A guy will respect  you more if you do not keep contacting him but let him do most of the contacting. Especially do not contact him more than once if he does not answer.  

You do not have to do things in anger, but just tell him that you can talk to whomever you wish to talk to you and that you did nothing wrong.  You could also tell him that he does not seem to be as respectful to you as he used to be and ask him what is happening.  If he doesn't want to talk about it then back off immediately and do not pressure him any more about it. Just back off and see what happens. See if he contacts you later.

Hope this helps. Without more information that is about all I can comment on.


How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall


Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

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Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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