How to Strengthen Your Relationship/can't decide

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Question
hey this is sarah am 28 years old.i recently started talking to this guy  i met through a friend actually   met as in started talking to him cause my friend thought its a good idea she was kind of arranging this thing because she thought we are good match foreach other as in for marriage i hope you are aware of the arrange marriage thing .initially the first few days everything was kind perfect we were on msging 24/7 he wanted to skype and all but than not so much he really wanted to meet me and as we live in two diff countries at the moment its not possible for me to travel.he keeps pushing me to com and meet him but i have explained  to him its not possible cause my parents wont let me go like this as for them he is a stranger most of the time he talks about how he wants to make out and u know to  be physical with me i don't mind that but all the time is kind of weird cause  i have tried to get to know him in person but i am not able to he doesn't share much and says he is shy but if he is shy than how can talk about making out or all the things he wants to do to me when he meets me.thats why he keeps saying if i go there he can know me better and if he com here he wont get the privacy which i don't get why he says .i feel he is just sexually attracted towards me .i have explained to him if he cant give me time than how can i know him  but he keeps saying its not like that one night he said he will talk to me as long as possible but than he left n when i said if he is going to talk to me or not he said i don't know  i said just say yes or now i don't want to push u to talk 2 me he said no i said i am sorry fr pushing bt he didnt even listen he said bye goodnight n left i tried to be distant and didn't msg him so he kept msging me  i told him after two days his behaviour was not accepted and i if he cant respect me we should talk he apologised and all so i said okie i wont drag it. but only for a day he was oki then again whole day he doesnt contact nor msgs .i don't want to be in an unpredictable relationship in future i have had few very bad ones n from that i know of something doesn't sound right than maybe it is'nt but i am not sure i sometimes think my past bad relationships might be clouding my judgement thats why i want to know your opinion cause i dont want to invest in a hollow relationship thats just based on physical or sexual attraction he acts very possessive he has told me he likes me bt i really dont know who this guys is cause all he talks abt is how difficult it is for him to be far and how he wants to do this and that.am i over thinking this or do u think i should give him chance.he wasn't well so after his good morning msg i asked him how r u it was just one word reply fine.thats it i am really confused. i dint want to be in a chasing relationship that always am the worried one.when i told him i m busy studying he couldn't even believe that i can be busy studying. cause i was not talking to him cause of that.should i talk to him or tell him how i feel or give it time.cause i dont know how to change his behaviour.how should i be with him nice or not nice. for once i just want to be in a peaceful relationship for which i dont have to be worried.please help me.

Answer
Hello Sarah,

There is no confusion here. He is only interested in your body and does not care one bit about you, except to make you think he likes you so that he can get your physically. If he cared about you he would respect you and would want to be where he cannot get you alone. He would want to be where you feel safe. He wants to get you along so he can have sex with you.  

He only says he likes you so that you will come to see him.

Love must be based on mutual respect. How can you respect a man who only has one thing on his mind and who does not respect you and also who wants to control you.

Also, long distance relationships do not work out very well. You need to find someone that you can see and get the feeling about him in person.  You really cannot know a person when you do not see them and see how they treat you and how they treat others. communication is shows through body language and also through the emotion in the eyes and also just the spirit that comes from a person.

You were absolutely right to question this and so follow that gut feeling that you know something is not right here. Find someone with whom you can see in person. A person can say anything through texting and also Skype. You must see him and how he relates to others, etc.  I think you should move on.

Hope you find a great mate, that respects you and treats you like the woman you are.

Sharon

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall

Experience

Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Education/Credentials
Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

Past/Present Clients
Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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