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How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Is my college slowly fading out during summer break?


 I'm 21 and so is my bf. We go to the same college and have been dating for 3 months before summer break starts. He lives in Canada and I live in Korea for the summer.
 We still want to see each other in the fall and agreed to stay exclusive in the summer but not labeling anything. He said that he wanted to skype me once a week blabla...
   It started out fine..we messaged each other pretty often..but after about a month in, he started to msg me once a week..and then after about 6 weeks, he waited for like a week to message me...Our conversations are usually casual and about what we been up to..
   I know I might be thinking too much  about it since he's not even my boyfriend boyfriend anymore. But is he trying to gradually fade out from my life or just to cool things down..I'm also pretty sure it's not about him wanting other girls..
   Is this guy worth seeing if this continues to happen? I don;t wanna be that gal who points out his slow responses (and ignorance)! What can I do connect more closely with him now?
    Thank you so much!

Hello Fiona,

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Men do not do well in long distant relationships and women always tend to want to pin the guy down and that pushes him farther away.

I would text him and just say a friendly hello and then tell him that he must be quite busy and that you are busy, too, and tell him that you will wait for his reply when he gets time.

Then when he texts you, you be slow in answering him. Men need to know they are the hunters, and they value you more if you are not always there waiting for their contact.  Let him way a bit. Never tell him why you are letting him wait. Just be busy. A busy woman, who has a life of her own is usually more attractive and gets a man's attention quicker than one who seems to be waiting around for him.

In fact, we are all like that somewhat.

So, the answer is that if you want to connect more closely, back off and let him do almost all the contacting and be a woman who has things to do and people to see. When you do talk to him tell him all the nice and fun things you are doing. That will make you be more attractive. We all want someone who is worth it.

Have you ever watched a Spanish couple dance? They circle around. One gets closer and the other gets close and them pulls away. They circle around and dance in and out before they really make contact. Dating is like that. Getting closer and then pulling back a bit until there is enough of a relationship to cement it.

Hope this helps.


How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall


Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

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Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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