How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Wait or give up?

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We cuddled and held hands at the movies.  Then she wanted to prolong things by going for dinner. She said we're just friends before we left but after she said we are somewhat more.

However, she has many guys who have their eye on her. She thought this one guy was annoying and intrusive. However one day I was texting her and let it slip that I feared losing her. She then told me we're still just friends, the flirting was just "playing", and that she is interested in dating the guy she thought was annoying. I asked about him days later and she said she is just comfortable around him now. That means a lot because she has anxiety but she doesn't think he's cool. Most of my friends and I don't like him. Especially me since he tried flirtatiously smiling at my mom! She told me she thought he was fugly which I found hilarious.

He wanted to take the girl joy riding and to an amusement park that's 2 hours away with one of his friends and a hookup for that guy. Yet he has a son (not sure if she knows this) and about 4 "girlfriends" of his own and says he's not interested in her even though he follows her around and is now trying to sit next to her.

She still gives me body language that says she likes me and still wants to do stuff with me when she isn't busy. I even asked her to save me a seat and she said sure. I want to make sure the other guy can't get close to her. Despite everything she told me she's not comfortable around me. She has only known us for a couple of months.

Answer
Dear Justin,

Sorry I am slow in answering. I have had some problems to deal with these last couple of days.

The main thing is that relationships have to flow freely. We can't make things happen the way we like. The best thing to do is just to be friends and do things with friends with no expectations.  It takes knowing quite a few people before a relationship will click with both people. Often, one likes a particular person while that person likes someone else. You can't control that.  The more you are open to having several friends and just have fun type activities together the more you can compare the girls to better find someone who is good for you.

Don't worry about other guys. You can't control what happens and so just concentrate on your own self. Going out with different girls and being a good person and then one of these days something will click with one person and at the same time something will click with her. Just keep on getting your education and work on having a good life and the right one will come along. If this girl is for you, you will know pretty soon. The more happy you are and progressing in your life the more attractive to girls you will be.

Right now she seems to want just to be friends and so go with that until something else develops.

I hope you have a great life and future.

Sharon

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall

Experience

Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Education/Credentials
Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

Past/Present Clients
Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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