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How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Dating a woman who just ended a realtionship

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Question
Good morning,

My name is BJ and I just recently set up a first date with a woman who I was interested in for quite some time. We were coworkers and I felt that us being coworkers was an obstacle in asking her out, but we always had friendly interactions in the office. Still though I wanted to ask her out and the opportunity came. I recently got a new job and that allowed me the chance to finally ask her out, which I did. In my final 2 weeks at the job we saw each other and I told her I was leaving and asked if she would like to stay in touch. She gave me her number, but informed me that she had just ended a relationship. She told me she wasnít looking for anything at the current moment, but wanted to hang out with me as a way to get to know each other more. I told her Iím perfectly ok with that as I want to take things slow. I also want to consider the fact that she just ended a relationship and how that may have affected her. How should I proceed with taking it slow? Thank you very much for your time.

Answer
Hello BJ,

Slow would be asking her to go some where with you perhaps once a week. Make sure you ask her formally a few days before the event. Take her public places for awhile. Only, perhaps, a little hug as you say goodnight unless she is not a hugger. Then just take her hand and wish her good night. Give it a little squeeze and off you go.

Do some group things with friends. Find out what she likes to do. Tell her she looks nice but don't pour out too many compliments. If there is something you admire about her, tell her. Again, not too mushy gushy--just a nice compliment. Be genuine. Get to know her as a person. Going on a hike, or jogging together is always good. Going with friends to a movie and pizza is good. Observe her body language when you are in a group. See if she pays attention to you, or just goes off to others for a long time. See if she holds your arm to otherwise touches you==that is usually a signal that she is ready for more, such as a kiss. Make the first kiss a nice kiss--not too intimate.

Once in awhile it is okay to ask her at the last minute if something comes up that is interesting that you just found out about. Do not contact her--text/call every day. A couple of times during the week at first. See how she responds. She will let you know by what she does, whether she wants more. Be slow in introducing your family; but at some point that would be good--again in a casual setting such as suggesting you cook together at your sister's place, or your home if you live with your parents, or your place otherwise.

Have good conversations about what her goals are and what what yours are--just get to know her and then I think she will give you signals she wants more. If she turns you down after that, then tell her that you thought she was giving you a signal she wanted more. Just be honest and ask her what she means by taking it slow. Communication is always good--not in a way that you are pinning her down but just being interested in how she is feeling about things.

That should do it. It is always good in dating to go with someone in various settings. I hope it turns out well for you.
Sharon  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Sharon Crandall

Experience

Over 30 years of working with individuals, families, and businesses. Teaching classes, private coaching--helping design individual life plans,, private personality assessment, group workshops, and training others to become Personality Consultants and Life Coaches.

Education/Credentials
Certified in two year program of Personality Science. Certified in secondary Personality Science program from a different institution. Trained in various workshops for Life Coaching, Self-educated from numerous books and programs, plus private training from Personality Science experts.

Past/Present Clients
Hundreds of people from all walks of life including private individuals, couples, families, and businesses--from homemakers to CEO's Worked with many groups in workshops and classes. Worked with businesses particularly in customer relations/service and sales.

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