How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Did I scare him away


So I've been dating this great guy... He's made it clear he's looking for the right girl for marriage.. He's been engaged before and I've been divorced he said he understands people at our age have baggage... We have great chemistry get along ... Got intimate and had sex on our fifth date I invited him over. He shared somethin personal with me about how he used to smoke marijuana in college and once it was accidentally laced with pcp and he was sent to the ER.. I shared with him a personal story about how I recorded my bf n I having sex ten years ago and I guess it took him by surprise which I guess it would anyone.  He told me he was surprised n I look as though I have a good head on my shoulder .. I told him he threatened to blackmail me with it ...Then he asked questions like why would he do that to which I said we were really young and he was out of college I was going into college and we drifted apart ... I kinda states having feelings for someone else and he prob got jealous...
I was nervous and jokingly asked him are u judging me? He jokingly replied I'm not now... I was five mins ago...
N he was asking why I don't rmr I'm like it's been a long time n I've blocked it out of my memory and I told him I don't want to talk about it anymore ... So he never brought it up again....

AFTER that convo, we went to sleep and he asked why I chose to go on a second date with him so I told him how I thought he was a gentleman , and I was nervous cuz u Seemed like a good kid and I didn't want to corrupt you. He laughingly said how he is a good kid...and he told me why he liked me...he thanked me
For a
Compliment I gave him... he told me what makes him fall asleep and showed me how to rub his back so he'll fall asleep... We cuddled, shared some more stories...

Then we would laugh and talk in two different lanaguages( we're Indian so we have another lanaguage we speak) so he was like "we have our own special language "

Then I asked him if he thinks this is going somewhere and he said "well what do you think?" I'm like I think so but the last time I thought so it wasn't ... So he goes "me too"

My question is... Does it sound like what I told him bothered him? I only told him cuz he told me something and
He asked me what's one thing I could erase from history ... He's a hospital doctor so he had an overnight the next (he stayed over Saturday night ) I texted him Monday afternoon to c if he got any rest and he goes "hey you. I just woke up slept like 3 hours." So I just said "aw well I hope u get better rest tonight and get that 45 minute shower " he's like "oh I will... I plan on taking a hot shower for 45 mins n going to bed. I will sleep like a baby" I didn't text him back I Let him be. But we don't text often or all day anything like that... Anyway if you could help me by answering that question that would be great:) we've been talking and dating for a month now.
Thanks. He's really honest so I feel as though he'd tel me by now .. Oh and he hasn't logged onto the online dating website where we met in two weeks...

Hi S,

So what is the downside of asking him?  You could let him know you felt comfortable enough to tell him and it has truly bothered you that it happened and would be concerned in how he took it.  You took a risk in sharing it and hopefully can learn more about how he experienced it.  Stuart  

How to Strengthen Your Relationship

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Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT


how to help relationship. How to address issues within relationship......I am pretty open here


20th year in the field. Managed and directed clinical programs. Now, I work out of my own office as well as supervise counselors

California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists

The California Therapist

B.A. Psychology M.S. Counseling Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Awards and Honors
Hero of the Heart - Covina Valley USD

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I work with individuals, couples, families and children

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