How to Strengthen Your Relationship/Separated and feel powerless


Hi there
My wife is divorcing me after 10 years of marriage. We have 2 children, 4 and 8 and have a joint mortgage on our home. We have been separated for 5 months and although I visit the house and communicate via messages with her, it's awkward actually talking about anything other than the children. It was our 10th anniversary this week and we supported each other via messages. She said that if she could turn back time, she would have enrolled us on marriage therapy and now our future is in the hands of a higher being...what is meant to be will be.
What could she mean by this? I'm not sure weather to ask her if she would go to therapy as she keeps speaking in the past tense. She is divorcing me, so how can a higher being be involved when she has all the power to stop the divorce.
She has admitted recently that she kniws that I didn't do anything intentionally to upset her but she just seems to want to carry on with the divorce even though we are very close as a family and rely on each other. What should I do here? She has always controlled the relationship and is very head strong but it is as if she is conflicted but win't admit her true feelings.I hope you can help.

Hello Andrew,

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. She does seem a bit ambiguous with her comments about your future as a couple. Yes, she does hold all the cards, and yes, she could just call off the divorce. Maybe there's a part of her that hopes you will take this bait and say something. And, even if there's not, what harm could come of this?

If she wishes she could turn back time and go to therapy, let her know that it's not too late and that you are willing to go to therapy. If she says she's already started the process, remind her what she said and ask if she would consider putting the divorce on pause and giving this one more try.

If she says yes, great. If not, you are no worse off than you are now.

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