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About Kindred Beisinger
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.

Experience
I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.

You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Marriage > How to Strengthen Your Relationship

Questions Answered By Expert Kindred Beisinger
In Category How to Strengthen Your Relationship

Subject	Date Asked

marriage	11/14/2008
Q: I have been married for 25 years, 4 children... My husband and I have been separated for 2 years. I ... A: I'm not sure I understand the time frame, here. Did you tell him about the affair years ago or just ...
Relationship spark	11/8/2008
Q: I am so lost right now that I do not know where to start. I have been with my girlfriend for the ... A: I don't usually divulge my personal information, but I know exactly what you are talking about. If ...
dont know what to do?iv found out im pregnant.	11/6/2008
Q: im 30,i have a 10 year old daughter,from previous relationship.i have a new partner of two years,iv ... A: Perhaps this is your partner's opportunity to make a decision he doesn't have to feel guilty about. ...
how to let it go	11/4/2008
Q: I have been dating a man for about 3 months now. In the beginning things were great. We both are ... A: I think the term dating has been changed since I was dating. Keeping in touch by phone really isn't ...
Can I be a stepmom to this child?	11/3/2008
Q: I am 25 years old and have never been married or have children. I am engaged to a wonderful 37 year ... A: I can't answer this question for you or make your decision, but I can share a few thoughts that may ...
does she still love me	11/1/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I were introduced through a friend of mine. She was living with my friend and ... A: I don't have a good feeling about this. I don't know anything about this woman except what you have ...
my ungrateful boyfriend	11/1/2008
Q: oh my god...i have never felt for a guy so quickly . we started out as being each other comforter ... A: I'm not sure this is the answer that you want, but I'm sure it's the right answer. I'll give you ...
Does taking a break help the relationship?	10/28/2008
Q: I have been in a relationship for a little over a year and a half. My boyfriend and I are both in ... A: It sounds like the two of you have a lifetime of labels and issues to resolve. My thought here, ...
my boyfriend	10/27/2008
Q: my name is fabiola,im 25 yrs old,nursing student.I have fall in love with a 34 yrs old guy,who lives ... A: I think you were wise in stopping the overnights. Kudos to you. As for deciding what you want, you ...
Should i Stay	10/27/2008
Q: I've been seeing this guy for a year now, we're not officially dating yet. When I met him he nor I ... A: This is just advise, you have to do what you feel you can live with. I would tell him, you just ...
A best friend or lover?	10/25/2008
Q: Long story Ill try to keep it short. I have a long time friend, since I was 16 Im now 25 and I live ... A: I never recommend sex outside of marriage, but I will tell you this. I married a man that I ...
keeping the best for last	10/24/2008
Q: im 19 yo my "best friend" is also 19 we've been dating for a year now ,and i learned that i have no ... A: Don't change anything for now. You have already said you aren't ready for marriage yet, so just ...
Boyfriend's job loss	10/3/2008
Q: We have been dating for a year. We live 100 miles away and he has a 14 year old son from a previous ... A: Deborah, I can only tell you what I would do. I would not pay his bills. PERIOD. You're getting ...
Dating and counselling	9/9/2008
Q: My BF and I have been together for over 16 months, we do not live together and we are in our mid ... A: I don't recommend counseling at this point. It sounds like the two of you have a very practical ...
My Paranoid Husband	9/7/2008
Q: I'm a 45 year old woman and my husband's 48 years old. Me and my husband have been married for many ... A: I realize it's after the fact, but it's best to leave the past in the past. You can go to a county ...
i'm ready for marriage after 7 years	8/23/2008
Q: i have been in a relationship w/my boyfriend for 7 years & we have 3 sons. for the last 5 years i ... A: I don't think he plans to get married. If you have 3 sons together, already and he keeps postponing ...
Taking a break in a relationship	8/22/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I met our sophomore year of college and sparks flew for 3 years. Here we are now on ... A: Even if he comes back, then what? I am not a bit comfortable with his "rules." After 3 years and ...
my girlfriend and i are going thur a ruff time	8/20/2008
Q: my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 and a half years. and 2 days ago she was over my ... A: It does sound like you have an anger problem. Perhaps some anger management classes would be of ...
she isn't meeting my needs	6/25/2008
Q: I have a girlfriend that I am fighting tooth and nail for to keep her and her family happy. However ... A: Now, I am only reading your side of this, but from what you tell me, you have a very one-sided ...
me and my girlfreind	6/25/2008
Q: i would like to make my relationship alot better with my girlfreind, we've been going out for 11 ... A: If there are certain things that make you feel jealous, you need to address those. If for instance, ...
No passion	6/24/2008
Q: Ok its kindof a weird odd story. My boyfriend and myself have been dating/living together for almost ... A: You cannot change another human being. To answer your question. What you should do is decide what ...
What do I do?	6/23/2008
Q: My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over 20 months and have only recently been ... A: I think you need to let your girl friend see as much of this question to me, as you are comfortable ...
does he really love me like I love him	6/23/2008
Q: Im 19 and I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half. Im a freak clingly to him. ... A: What you have told me is just one more reason I do not believe in pre-marital sex. The relationship ...
my boyfriend changed	6/23/2008
Q: We have been together for about seven months, at first he was so attentive, polite, always helping ... A: I think your boyfriend has changed his level of interest and 32 is too young for a midlife crisis. ...
i dont know whether i should break up with my boyfriend	6/22/2008
Q: im stuck about what to do, ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, lived with him for the majority ... A: If you are just now 18 and you've been living with this guy for most of the past 3 years, you have ...
wanna work it out	6/20/2008
Q: my boyfriend and i had a fallout reason why because he found a letter that my ex boyfriend wrote me ... A: Send a letter. That's really all you can do. If he will read it, then maybe that will make a ...
Stay or go?	6/20/2008
Q: My partner and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. We moved to London from Australia 2 1/2 years ... A: It sounds like you have already made up your mind, but you just don't know how to walk on out. My ...
Relationship assistance	6/18/2008
Q: Ive been with my amazing boyfriend for almost a year now. we have talked about our future and how we ... A: I have no idea how old you and this guy are, but I will tell you two things that pretty much ...
Got back together, now what?	6/1/2008
Q: Me and my bf are in our early twenties. We had been together for 7 months when we split up for more ... A: Your question to me, explained a lot of what the two of you are going through. Stop analyzing every ...
New relationships	5/28/2008
Q: I have been seeing a girl now for three weeks. I have been out with her 5 times and talked with her ... A: A good relationship is honest, so I think the real question I am reading here, is how to let her ...
help!!!!!!!!!	5/27/2008
Q: after 6 months of being single i began a relationship with a wonderful man. i fell in love with him ... A: He sounds like an unhappy person. Everything you have said about him indicates he's not satisfied ...
Pls advise me	5/26/2008
Q: i have a problem which i hope u can help me. i am 28 years old and i've known my boyfriend for ... A: I don't know alot about internet relationships when someone has a relationship, but I wouldn't ...
RE: Broken Engagement	5/24/2008
Q: I was two weeks from getting married and my fiancee cancelled our wedding. Everything was fine. He ... A: I am sorry this is happening. I think you should take just a little bit of time to sort your ...
I am Falling aprt inside...	5/22/2008
Q: My fiance and I have known each other for nearly ten years. We have been together almost five full ... A: This situation sounds very confusing. Five years is a long time to suddenly have a change of heart ...
help!!!!!!!!!	5/21/2008
Q: after 6 months of being single i began a relationship with a wonderful man. i fell in love with him ... A: I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I don't really want to sound harsh or ...
Am I dumped?	5/4/2008
Q: I have met this guy online. we truly like each other a lot. He had treated me like a princess. In ... A: I think there is an issue, if you don't want him to touch you in public, appropriately, that is. If ...
my girlfriend	5/2/2008
Q: I've been seeing my girlfriend for about 8 months. Recently we hadn't seen each other much, once in ... A: I think you have the right to be honest in this relationship. By that, I'm not saying you are not ...
Im just not important enough	5/1/2008
Q: I have been with my man friend for 3 years, 2 of which we are living together. We are not kids, ... A: There are different kinds of love in the world. I would run like crazy from any man who doesn't ...
Am i dumped?	5/1/2008
Q: ive been going out with tom for 6 months now, we have had our fair share of ups and downs and he has ... A: I don't know if you are dumped or not. I do know, you crossed a serious line in the area of trust. ...
My boyfriend calls his ex-girlfriends	4/28/2008
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. A while ago, I discovered that he's been talking to ... A: Love and trust go hand in hand. If you can't trust him, I'm guessing life is going to get more ...
change me	4/17/2008
Q: My girlfriend and i have been together for 3 years and weve have some issues lately. Just this past ... A: I know you love this woman, but it sounds like she will always have some issue. Some people are ...
he fell in love with other	4/14/2008
Q: i with my bf been together for 5 yrs and 3 months. he made friend with his girl colleague and they ... A: I don't mean to sound unkind. I am very sorry for what you are going through. It really sounds ...
change me	4/14/2008
Q: My girlfriend and i have been together for 3 years and weve have some issues lately. Just this past ... A: As my bio states, I am a minister and I just happen to know about what you are asking. You are ...
Realtionship Hurt	4/13/2008
Q: I have been married for 5 years, three years ago through a hobby of mine I met a woman with whom I ... A: I think space is what is in order. If you want to be single from the woman you are married, then ...
Hmm.	4/9/2008
Q: Well to make a long story short, I'm 20 he's 21, we've been together for three years. The first two ... A: If he is going through some sort of awakening, then that's where he is. I have no idea what ...
Need another chance to prove myself	4/8/2008
Q: I have been living with my girlfriend for more than 3 years now. She has an 11 year old son. We both ... A: Many people play with relationships until the other one is finally finished, then the one playing is ...
Dated a college friend, what went wrong?	4/5/2008
Q: I am writing you today for some of your advice. I have never done this online before but I am really ... A: I think the two of you are simply not a match made in heaven. Many friendships are wonderful as ...
5 Year relationship thats in peril	4/3/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years. We are polar opposites. We have managed to do ... A: It sounds like you are two people in severe pain, trying to build a life on commiseration. I think ...
Kindred Please Help! THANK U!!!!	4/1/2008
Q: First of all thank you so much for taking in my question. I am under a lot of duress, and issues. My ... A: Your relationship truly sounds like a walk across egg shells. You need to tell Bryan, you are not ...
Not Ready For Relationship	4/1/2008
Q: Okay. So. Were in high school. Im a Junior. Shes a freshman. Things seemed okay in my new ... A: From the sounds of what you describe, I think there is more to the story that this young lady simply ...
how to strengthen my relationship	3/23/2008
Q: I am in a situation where my boyfriend is not in love with me anymore, but still loves and cares ... A: Has he said he is no longer "in love" or is that your term for where you think he is? Males and ...
marriage falling apart	3/22/2008
Q: i am 29 year old and my husband is 27. we have been together for 6 years and married for 4 years. ... A: It sounds like you both have hurt each other and I think that's what you should address between the ...
Taking a break from our relationship	2/28/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I have been living together for 3 1/2 years. We came into the relationship with ... A: I agree with you. It's time for a break. You were independent when he found you! And these guys ...
Wow...	2/23/2008
Q: I am in the bad situation: My boyfriend now views family, marriage, sex, and relationships as bad. ... A: I'm sorry for all that you are going through. The last paragraph you shared, sheds a great deal of ...
relationship issues...	2/15/2008
Q: how do i gain my ex boyfriends trust back again... meaning to show him that i have changed and i ... A: A relationship is not about just one person's needs. You do need to tell him you love him and you ...
relationship issues...	2/12/2008
Q: how do i gain my ex boyfriends trust back again... meaning to show him that i have changed and i ... A: I know once you are over your anger, you do not want to be the person you have been when you were ...
I'm not a stepmother I have no stepdaughter	2/8/2008
Q: She's 28 and I think she hates me. We stopped communicating. We had a great relationship from the ... A: If you've done what you can all these years and it only took one misunderstanding for her to stop ...
Life has become routine	2/6/2008
Q: My husband and I have been together for 9 years, and our love life has become so routine. We both ... A: Often times monogamy seems to equate with monotony, but it can just be a phase. I have a couple of ...
I can't let her walk out of my life	1/31/2008
Q: I've been dating my girlfriend for 2 months now. I first noticed her at school and she is hands down ... A: This is one of those situations in which I wish I had just the right thing to do, but I don't. I ...
Is there a time limit to meeting your boyfriends family?	1/31/2008
Q: I have been in a relationship with this guy for two years. I'm currently pregnant with his child. I ... A: Let me help you sort this out. He has been dating you for two years. You are currently pregnant ...
my boyfriend	1/31/2008
Q: I have a boyfriend named Princeton.We've been going out for almost 9 months and I love him to death! ... A: Men are as different as women are. If you feel that you are fat, you are going to reflect that in ...
3 year relationship down the tubes.	1/20/2008
Q: I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years now. Things were great for the first 2 1/2 ... A: I really don't think my answer will seem much different, but I'm going to elaborate a bit. These ...
3 year relationship down the tubes.	1/20/2008
Q: I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 3 years now. Things were great for the first 2 1/2 ... A: I'm not taking sides here, and my answer is not set in stone, but . . . If you were planning to ...
Making it work.	1/18/2008
Q: My 'girlfriend' and I have been together for a year and a half now. We've had problems on both ... A: Your post sounds pretty indepth, insightful, and communicated quite well, I might add. Here is my ...
He's not sure he wants to be with me...	1/18/2008
Q: Some background: I'm 25 and he's 32. We've been together for 1.5 years and have been living together ... A: This is probably going to sound old fashioned, but please, read this on out . . . I think moving in ...
Dealing with Fiance's Ex and Baby's Mom	1/17/2008
Q: I am in a relationship of 2 years now and am 6 months recently engaged. I guess you could say I ... A: All of your concerns and questions are real, important and should be considered. You are not crazy. ...
Relationship Question	1/16/2008
Q: My boyfriend of 2 years and I have had a rocky road. I am 28 and he is 27. I am a lawyer and my ... A: I am hesitant to answer this, as I get the feeling you have a predetermined answer in mind, but I ...
breakup	1/14/2008
Q: " i dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months. there never seemed to be any serious issues. then out ... A: Yes, I do believe she saw this trip coming prior to the break up. I can't really comment on your ...
Breakup	1/12/2008
Q: I've been very lonely and depressed for a very long time. My ex girl-friend and I had dated for four ... A: You made mention of the Bible. If you know and G~D knows you didn't cheat, then that is the ...
breakup	1/11/2008
Q: " i dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months. there never seemed to be any serious issues. then out ... A: I will begin this with addressing your last point first. A mismatch just doesn't work, and I got ...
breakup	1/10/2008
Q: " i dated my girlfriend for almost 6 months. there never seemed to be any serious issues. then out ... A: I am sorry this has caused you so much pain. I read through all your numbered reasons and questions ...
Is it worth saving?	1/8/2008
Q: My boyfriend and I split up just under a year ago after losing our son. We'd been together 3 years. ... A: I can tell you that marriage and divorce statistics indicate most married couples that experience ...
learning	12/27/2007
Q: I am trying to understand something. What does it mean when a partner cries during love making. ... A: I do not fully understand this question as it relates to "strengthening a relationship," as it ...
Relationship confusion	11/21/2007
Q: I'm so confused about my relationship with my boyfriend. I have been dating him for several months ... A: Don't let his mother change the relationship. If you like this guy and you enjoy his company, then ...
Rebuilding trust	11/15/2007
Q: I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years.However by the time i met my fiance he had ... A: You have several variables in this trust issue, and all of them are substantial. First, the fact ...
relationships	11/14/2007
Q: I been with my boyfriend for two years on & off.He was in a common law marrige for seven years,that ... A: I am not an attorney, but I do know some states recognize common law marriage as binding, so make ...
Mason	11/10/2007
Q: Hi, my name is Caroline and I'm in 6th grade. Me and this guy I have had a crush on for a while ... A: I am a grandma, so I'm not really sure what "going out (a lot)" means in regard to sixth graders. ...
Rebuilding trust	11/8/2007
Q: What is the best book which covers the topic of rebuilding trust in relationship in depth? A: I recommend the Bible for all of life's answers. There are tons of books written about ...
just about everything.	11/8/2007
Q: iv been with my parner for 14 months and we dont talk anymore. there is long uncomftable ... A: I am going to say this as gently as possible. He sounds like a classic example of "misery loves ...
Lost Trust. Mend a Relationship	11/7/2007
Q: I have lost the most amazing woman in the world. We lived together for a year and a half. The ... A: I read that you call yourself "an open book" and "open and honest," but that isn't what your ...
2 brake up or not 2 brake up	11/7/2007
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for six months and in the begining everything was fine. We spend almost ... A: Perhaps you need to ask yourself some questions. If he tells you that he has priorities ahead of ...
Important question	11/5/2007
Q: I am 21 years old have been seeing this guy who is 25 years old, from my son's barbershop for about ... A: I have thought about your question at great length, because I just wasn't sure what to say. I am ...
Married man	11/5/2007
Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now and everything is going well. We recently ... A: You are 100% correct in your feelings. If she is pregnant, then she has a boyfriend, also? or is ...
Relationship with Ex	11/2/2007
Q: I have been dating this guy for about six months who has in my opinion the strangest relationship ... A: I am just going to respond to this as honestly as I can. I don't get a good feeling about this ...
dating.	11/2/2007
Q: om A: If you would like private correspondence, you can reach me from my website which I will give beneath ...
Taking a break	11/1/2007
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we have lived together for just over a year. We have ... A: If he's been hinting at a committed relationship, then he's really got some things to sort out. I ...
two year relationship	10/30/2007
Q: I'v'e been in a relationship for 2 years and my boyfriend recently spoke to me about not being ... A: Although I can't tell you exactly what the problem is and when it began, I can tell you if you try ...
Regrets	10/29/2007
Q: okay, a site for problems. my life has been hectic and im reaching out for help. i have been with ... A: If you do not want to give up on Sarah, then why is there a Val in your life? Your term "troubling ...
G/F	10/28/2007
Q: Hey whats up. Look my G/F has a lot of freinds and thinks it's okay to hang out with them with out ... A: I am frequently puzzled by young people's usage of the terms boyfriend or girlfriend. It's like a ...
did he really cheat	10/26/2007
Q: i read that the #1 way to kno if my man is cheating is if he says he is one place and really ... A: It sounds like the two of you have a number of trust issues. If you are married, sit down and talk ...
helping her with my previous marriage	10/26/2007
Q: I'm 26 years old and I'm divorced. I got married when I was 22 and I wasn't ready and I wasn't with ... A: You have a real dilemma on your hands. I hope the two of you can actually make the transition, ...
Help!	10/25/2007
Q: I have been in a relationship for over 4 yrs. Recently we broke up. Things started to get rocky btwn ... A: I can't tell from your post if you've not heard from him since he spent the night or two weeks after ...
what's happening?	10/22/2007
Q: Ok, I'm really in love with this guy, his name is Jarrett, we've been dating on and off, and broke ... A: I don't know how old you are, but from your reference of school, I am going to answer this question ...
Difficult conversation	10/22/2007
Q: Kindred, I’ve been divorced for almost two years. I met someone over the internet about 8 months ... A: I think the man does care about you, but I do think he has some issues that may be from his diabetes ...
she wants to leave	10/22/2007
Q: nine months before moving to a new state and accepting a new job opportunity. I met the love of my ... A: You have discovered the painful truth that many modern couples experience. Your heart is fully in ...
relationship problem	10/19/2007
Q: I am having serious relationship problems with my partner of 4 yrs, we have 2 young children ... A: Addiction is a tough issue in a relationship, because it involves trust, and because the addiction ...
Getting my ex back	10/18/2007
Q: My girlfriend broke up with me like a week in a half ago because I wasn't being express in my ... A: I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but if you have opened up to communicate and she ...
help my boyfriend is not affectioned	10/18/2007
Q: I am desperate and nowhere to turn anymore. I recently did a search on the Internet on how to get ... A: If he is giving you more attention by you backing off of the pressure, then give it some more time. ...
How do I get my self esteem back from being brought down so low?	10/18/2007
Q: ) I believe I have a unique situation. I am 27 and recently ended a year and two month ... A: I'm sorry this guy has you doubting yourself so much. What you refer to as intimacy is simply sex. ...
Question about taking a break with Girlfriend	10/18/2007
Q: I am 19 and my girlfriend is 19. We were dating for two years up until a month ago in which she ... A: Since the break up was not mutual, and her statements only make you feel more worse about the ...
self respect	10/16/2007
Q: An old saying states, " Respect your wife without sacrificing your self respect ". The one who wrote ... A: I also have a saying "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Trying to define terms in ...
me and my gf are taking a break	10/16/2007
Q: Me and my gf at age 15 her and 17 me have been going out for over 2 years we are 100% in love with ... A: I am not comfortable with this for many reasons, but it is not my life, nor my decision, so . . . I ...
Question about taking a break with Girlfriend	10/15/2007
Q: I am 19 and my girlfriend is 19. We were dating for two years up until a month ago in which she ... A: Please don't give anyone that much control in your life, that you would consider suicide. It sounds ...
Getting my ex back	10/9/2007
Q: My girlfriend broke up with me like a week in a half ago because I wasn't being express in my ... A: If the reason she broke up with you is your failure to communicate, then communicate. Tell her how ...
9 months..	10/9/2007
Q: I am 24 my boyfriend of now 9 months (which we have lived together for almost a year) is 32. He is a ... A: Sometimes it is difficult to tell whether a man is bored, disinterested, or just comfortable. I ...
Should I breakup???	9/19/2007
Q: I am 24, female from India. I am in love with a dovorcee guy since last year, and we both are from ... A: I don't have a good feeling about this guy at all. If you are wondering if you should break up, if ...
marriage	9/18/2007
Q: Being 26 years old male, I have got married with my first maternal cousin who is 8 months elder than ... A: I'm sorry that you feel that your wife is being disrespectful. If you tell her this is a problem ...
PLEASE HELP!!!! THANK U MUCH!!!	9/17/2007
Q: I was going out with this guy named Ricky for seven or eight months. When we met for the first time ... A: Everything that we love is not necessarily good for us. He sounds like trouble. He's playing two ...
I let too much out the bag how do I fix this situation?	9/13/2007
Q: Me and my boyfriend have been dating a little over a year, I'm 24 and he's 26. What happens is that ... A: Things have already changed drastically between the two of you. You stated that you have gone from ...
question	9/12/2007
Q: He has now changed and matured so within a month we have become engaged. He is not possessive, ... A: I can't really address the dynamics of your relationship, but I can tell you this. If I am ...
love	9/4/2007
Q: i have relationship of 6 years with my girl friend. but past 1 month i have become bit possessive ... A: Why did you suddenly get possessive? Perhaps you were sensing something. Rather than emotionally ...
talking	9/4/2007
Q: A little background. I met my boyfriend online around Christmas last year. We lived in different ... A: You explained that you have already discussed marriage, etc. prior to your relocation. Perhaps he ...
why doesn't my boyfriend want to spend time with me	9/1/2007
Q: I been with this guy for a while and said he want to spend as much time as passable with me. But he ... A: It sounds like you have much more invested in this relationship than he does. His days are spent as ...
Dating a divorced man	8/23/2007
Q: I am having a problem that I have been trying to find some help for but it is starting to feel like ... A: I don't think you are alone in your feelings, I just think most other situations don't pinpoint the ...
my love	8/22/2007
Q: my boyfriend n i have been going on for abt 3 yrs plus together n we r happy together... theres many ... A: It's time to be honest with him. Tell him you feel that he is taking things out on you that are not ...
Ideas	8/19/2007
Q: My boyfriend leaves for basic military training in 16 days! It lasts 4 months. I was wondering if ... A: Everyone has a different definition of exciting, but I would suggest the things the two of you ...
Dating/Communication	8/15/2007
Q: I never would have, in a million years, thought I'd be writing to you today but my feelings for ... A: Men are frequently not as "talkative" as women. My advice is simple. Simply tell her exactly what ...
please help.	8/14/2007
Q: i need help. im so far gone... i dont think i even WANT to come back.. this is my last hope. the ... A: I'm sorry to give you an answer you probably don't want, but there is absolutely nothing healthy ...
what can i do?	7/27/2007
Q: I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and we just started having problems around January. ... A: Guard your heart. I'm not saying that your boyfriend is a cheat, but there is an old cliche that ...
parents	7/26/2007
Q: I'm 18 years old (female)and i'm having a lot of issues with my parents. i stayed with my friend at ... A: Two years is a long time to prove yourself and for them to calm down. Technically you are making ...
Getting over the love of my life	7/25/2007
Q: I have a very unique situation to share with you. I met someone roughly 10 years ago (I was 18) he ... A: Until you get over this now "married man," your life will not move on. If he was the love of your ...
being cheated on	7/24/2007
Q: Five months ago I was cheated on and left for the other woman. I am very sad. How do I get over ... A: As I mentioned, he may have had a change of heart, or the new relationship may be rocky. I truly ...
being cheated on	7/22/2007
Q: Five months ago I was cheated on and left for the other woman. I am very sad. How do I get over ... A: Please be careful. Keep your heart protected. Right now, you don't know, if he's had a change of ...
being cheated on	7/19/2007
Q: Five months ago I was cheated on and left for the other woman. I am very sad. How do I get over ... A: I am sorry for this disillusioning situation. The wound is still pretty fresh. Give yourself some ...
my relationship	7/17/2007
Q: my boyfriend and I have been going out for five months. We were really happy for the first couple ... A: If the two of you are still friends, then the relationship has not ended. Your description of ...
I messed up...	7/16/2007
Q: My relationship with my boyfriend, or now ex is very odd. We started dating when I was 15, and broke ... A: The only thing you can do is to tell him that he has no reason to trust you, right now, but . . . ...
Did we start off on the wrong foot?	7/11/2007
Q: I am 24 and my boyfriend is 33. We met in a neutral setting which progressed due to an intense ... A: I would say if you feel that 24 and 33 is a major age difference, then perhaps it is. I'm sure he ...
relationship in need of help and hurry	7/9/2007
Q: My boyfriend and i have been together for just over a year,we met at probly the worst and best time ... A: If the two of you are not married, then living together is going to be difficult at best, and even ...
Ugh	6/22/2007
Q: I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20. We've been together over two years. Lately, he's not been saying "I ... A: I'm sorry for what you are going through. I would say his family may be pressuring him and he just ...
How To Strengthen Your Relationship	6/21/2007
Q: My boyfriend an I have been dating going on 3 years now. And for the past year or so, I havent been ... A: Until you are ready to be married, you should be living alone. Perhaps you aren't happy because the ...
Dating someone who can't get over my children	6/19/2007
Q: Here goes... I am recently divorced with two under three yrs old children. I left my marriage for ... A: If he knew you when you were still with your ex, then there is always going to be some reminder for ...
Obsessive and Controlling	6/19/2007
Q: I suppose you hear many questions about “my partner is obsessive and controlling” But this is ... A: I will be happy to offer any assistance I can as you move through this time toward a healthy ...
guys.....they suck	5/18/2007
Q: okay, well i have this boyfriend named andrew, and hes SO unattentive to me! I love him with all my ... A: At the risk of giving a response that you may not like, I'm going to say this. Your question sounds ...
Cancelled Wedding	5/14/2007
Q: I know that there is usually more history then what you get in an email or meeting for the first ... A: You and he purchased this home together and you have a child. It's time to sit down, and put your ...
dating troubles	5/9/2007
Q: I have known a man since I was 20. We're now 35 and 36. he is divorced (approx. 3 years). Since ... A: I think you should just relax and trust him a bit. He's made a point of the fact that you are his ...
I think I want to leave	5/8/2007
Q: I would like to have insight on my situation. I am dating someone who is 20yrs older than I, we have ... A: If you aren't married, you are free to leave whenever you like. His kids don't like you and he ...
Blended families and dating	5/8/2007
Q: I have fallen in love with a wonderful man. We have known each other for over a year but seriously ... A: I totally admire your decision and applaud the stand you have taken. If he is in denial now, just ...
I just don't know what to do anymore.	5/3/2007
Q: My boydriend and I have been together for 7 years this month. We built a house together after being ... A: I already told you why I think these things happen. People build a lot without the foundation of ...
I just don't know what to do anymore.	5/3/2007
Q: My boydriend and I have been together for 7 years this month. We built a house together after being ... A: If you would like to continue corresponding about this, that would be fine. In the mean time, I can ...
Dealing With His Ex-Wife - HELP :(	5/2/2007
Q: I met my Fiancé in college about seven months ago. When I met him he was separated of his soon to be ... A: I agree with your idea. She is not his ex-wife, yet; regardless of how much he wants that. Perhaps ...
lazy	4/29/2007
Q: I have a minor problem, my boyfriend/roommate, ( more or less my roommate),,is living with me for ... A: I probably am not going to give you the answer you want to hear, but here goes. You say you need to ...
dont know where to go from here	4/27/2007
Q: I feel like my fiance says "I love you", but his actions say the opposite. I'm in vet school & have ... A: I am sorry for your situation. Your boyfriend is certainly not the first young man to return from ...
my jealousy	4/25/2007
Q: i am a 34 yr old woman who has been involved in a loving and committed relationship for nearly a ... A: Your situation caused me to really put my thinking cap on. This is a somewhat unique situation. ...
losing the love of my life	4/24/2007
Q: Dr. Nath, I am a 25 y.o malayalee female, raised with good morals both religious and familial. So ... A: You keep referring to this man as your husband, but that is not the case. Your family is looking ...
don't know what to do anymore.	4/23/2007
Q: My boyfriend and i just had a little girl in march of this year,I have a 9yr old daughter and a 7yr ... A: I am sorry that you are getting to know each other after so many facts and without commitment. ...
Obvious yet confusing	4/23/2007
Q: She's 26 and I'm 24. Our relationship has been 2 years old and a few struggling months. We started ... A: You sound like a wonderful young man with a promising future, and very responsible and sensitive. ...
FIANCE IS NOT WILLING TO MAKE THINGS WORK	4/14/2007
Q: I really don't know what to exactly to do her. My Fiance and I just seperated about three days ago. ... A: It sounds like she has an issue that has taken the "break up" to get your attention. To be honest, ...
personality	4/11/2007
Q: I have sent this question to a few other experts but they seemed to be maxed out unfortuantely. I ... A: Contact him in writing, keep it short and make it plain, but pleasant. Tell him you miss him and ...
Strengthening a Relationship	2/28/2007
Q: I was just wondering if you knew how my girlfriend and I would be able to share our souls with each ... A: Moving on in a relationship is exciting, but renders you vulnerable so, go slowly. First, don't ...
Confused but determined!	2/26/2007
Q: ok, my cousin asked if her friend could stay with me for 4 weeks while on a holiday visiting the ... A: You sound like a very kind and thoughtful gentleman. I think you should be honest, but not ...
strengthening relationship	2/10/2007
Q: I want to know is it ok to hide our relationship from people surround us that causes much ... A: I do not know your age, so I will answer your question from both perspectives. If you are under age ...
getting over the past	2/9/2007
Q: My boyfriend of two years and I have been through a lot. When we first met, it was completely like ... A: Only you can decide if this is a case of true and enduring love or "misery loves company." If you ...
boyfriend issues	2/8/2007
Q: My boyfriend of two years has recently chosen a religion that has convined him that sex is nothing ... A: Religion plays a huge role in establishing how someone feels about their sexuality. If he has ...
New relationship	11/20/2006
Q: I have been dating a man for about 4 months now. He has children from a previous marriage, in which ... A: Please hang on to your heart. This sounds a bit touchy. I never recommend dating married men, even ...
End of my rope!	11/17/2006
Q: Again, I do thank you for your time and consideration. I wanted to say that your response makes ... A: concerning your revelation. Continue to seek your One True Father and He will reveal His plan for ...
End of my rope!	11/16/2006
Q: I will apologize in advance for being so long winded it is just my nature. My problem lies within my ... A: I am going to be very honest with you. I hear you crying out for something, but you are not sure ...
love	11/9/2006
Q: tbank you for that. He used to live by himself, but he lost his job and moved to his parents ... A: I think his "maybe" response is just one more negative contribution to the relationship. I would ...
is this because of divorce?	11/6/2006
Q: Okay-well I'll start with last year was my first year of high school and my Dad had an affair. Then ... A: Please forgive my delayed response, and I truly hope you have focused and attempted to analyze my ...
I want my boyfriend to want me.	11/4/2006
Q: My boyfriend and i have been together for 8 months. We have a great relationship and we have great ... A: Usually when men are comfortable, they do get quiet and perhaps seem preoccupied with other things. ...
I backed away but now so has he...what do I do now?	11/3/2006
Q: I think you might be right, but I did give him space and he accused me of neglecting him and not ... A: I didn't give you advice to manipulate him into a reaction. My advice was to actually get back to ...
Help!	11/3/2006
Q: I have extreme insecurity issues with my boyfriend for no reason. I deep down always believe that he ... A: You are right, this will destroy your relationship. If you can't trust him, you must have a reason, ...
Can I back away without compromising the relationship?	10/31/2006
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 months, and every thing was going great. We were ... A: Too much close has already compromised the relationship. I have to disagree with your last ...
Save my life	9/12/2006
Q: I am an Iranian male,age 28 and I am a pharmacist.My ex-wife Rose is 26 and a housewife.We got ... A: Your second post sounds very different from your first. Are you sure you want a reconciliation, and ...
Relationship help	9/12/2006
Q: Kindred, Thank you for writing back. I sense your frustration. I know my situation is complex. But ... A: I am sorry you read frustration into my answer. In reality, I have no reason to get frustrated with ...
Save my life	9/11/2006
Q: I am an Iranian male,age 28 and I am a pharmacist.My ex-wife Rose is 26 and a housewife.We got ... A: All I can do is share what I know. If I understand you properly, there is a practicality to the two ...
Relationship help	9/11/2006
Q: I'm not sure I was clear in my first message, but I made the mistake of letting S move back into my ... A: Yes, you told me that S had moved in. To be very honest, it seems that I am missing something here. ...
Relationship help	9/10/2006
Q: I was wondering if anyone could help me? I was married for twelve years to a man (S) that left me ... A: I hope S doesn't intercept your e-mail, but I am going to be very honest, here, and I hope you ...
fiance and soon to be step son.	9/3/2006
Q: my fiance and I have been together for 2 years our children( his son 12, my daughter 4, and our ... A: You have a real problem that will not be easily resolved. Your fiance, obviously isn't really ...
Relationship	8/30/2006
Q: I am 27 years old and have been dating a twenty four year old male for about 5 months...He has a one ... A: It sounds like he has another priority right now. I don't know if it is temporary or permanent. ...
Communication	7/31/2006
Q: I am a 36 year old male that has been dating a 39 year old widow for two years. I love this woman ... A: Women are usually more "chatty" and communicative than men, it's just the way we are all made. I ...
Unique relationship issue	7/26/2006
Q: I don't even know where to start. My ex-fiance and I were scheduled to get married 8/19 and as of ... A: Your relationship issue is far from unique. Your relationship issue is precisely and commonly known ...
Arguing, verbally abusive, no trust	7/25/2006
Q: I have been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs. and our relationship was nice for the first couple of ... A: If I read this correctly, you have had about 2 years out of 5 that were nice and the rest has been a ...
Talking Subjects	7/22/2006
Q: Rite well me and this girl really like each other and we are pretty much boyfriend & girlfriend. Its ... A: Perhaps I'm a bit confused. If you don't have much in common and you don't really communicate well ...
married 4 yrs blended family not working need to get out	7/19/2006
Q: I know my marriage is the major contributor to my issues. cognitive, financial, emotional, mental. ... A: It sounds as though you and your wife are simply "not on the same page." By the sound of your ...
I'm 20 and she's 17.	7/12/2006
Q: I'm going to make this short and quick. I have been working with this girl who is 17 and I'm really ... A: You sound like a very nice young man and I think 3 years is not too much of an age difference, but! ...
iso my wife	7/8/2006
Q: I've been married for 16 very good years. The last 6 months have been a little shakey. we stopped ... A: I don't know what to say. You tell me you have had 16 very good years of marriage, but nothing you ...
Where did I go wrong	7/7/2006
Q: I am in a bind. A girl I dated about 5 years ago just moved back to my city about two weeks ago and ... A: Your subject line "Where did I go wrong?" My answer: spending the night with her. What you ...
she needs a break	7/6/2006
Q: b/c the love of my life thinks she needs a break. We talked about it and her reasoning is b/c she ... A: I'm not into "games" and I don't suggestion them for others. If you met only two weeks after a ...
Relationship roadblock	7/6/2006
Q: This question is dealing with how to strengthen a relationship and a little bit about cheating. I'm ... A: It sounds as though you are drawn to women that you perhaps cannot trust fully. If you are dating a ...
My girlfriend keeps thinking about her ex and thinks we should	6/14/2006
Q: okay. well i was seeing this girl for about three months right after i met her. We bonded like no ... A: I will do the best I can to help you understand how a woman's mind works in this, but my husband ...
a little scared	5/24/2006
Q: I have had feelings for a female friend for years. Our story is much like a movie and feels like it ... A: The two of you sound almost like "star-crossed" lovers. It seems when one is ready, the ...
Ive been with my boyfriend...	5/16/2006
Q: Ive been with my boyfriend for 1yr 4mnths i do love him and he says he loves me but i recently ... A: I would say this is really out of my realm, as I do not know how the internet and intimacy works. ...
girlfriend	5/4/2006
Q: this is not any easy question but maybe you can help.i have been with a russian girl for 2 years. we ... A: So she's the girl for you if she can sort her head out . . . then I guess all you need to do is ...
Please help!	5/4/2006
Q: My boyfriend and I have been together over two years, and are talking about getting married. We ... A: Before we go any farther, I must address your statement before "I need a solution." >I know that if ...
Friends	4/17/2006
Q: Last year i met this girl at work. After a couple of mounths of talking i relized I really liked ... A: Your inquiry has truly touched my heart. I want to help you and perhaps this may sound trite, so ...
Want to have sex with my lover	3/19/2006
Q: I am 25 year old batchelor, working as supervisor in a firm. I am in love with the wife (aged 30) of ... A: This really isn't my area of expertise, as my area pertains to relationships. This is headed for ...
Winning Back Her Heart	3/10/2006
Q: My wife and I have been together for 5 years. During that time she has put up with a lot of crap ... A: As I read of your situation, it is one that is all too frequent in relationships, today. Few people ...
Possessiveness	2/17/2006
Q: I'm an 18 year old female who's dating an 18 guy since November '05. I think I have a huge problem. ... A: Your relationship sounds very unstable almost to the point of frightening. I do not think his ...
Need to win her heart	1/31/2006
Q: Hey. Currently, I am dating a girl. She is the woman of my dreams, and I would do almost anything ... A: My advice on the sex question is: If you are not married, don't have it! Now as far as display of ...
Hi	1/14/2006
Q: I know I keep bugging you and it's because your short reply to my initial question was very ... A: I am sorry you had a bad day. I am going to give you some very direct "advice." That is something ...
seperation	1/13/2006
Q: I have asked so many for help and loved what you wrote- my instincts are saying 'this lady can help ... A: I have already responded to your "last question" which was first in my inbox. I realize you sound ...
my girl in texas	12/2/2005
Q: Me and my girl have a long distance relationship(me in ny, her in texas) i have trusted her, she ... A: I understand your concern and frankly, I have a problem with her behavior and style. As far as the ...
Emotional Security in a dating relationship	11/7/2005
Q: I'm a senior in magazine journalism at Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa. I'm writing an article ... A: I will share what I can with you. I am a Messianic missionary. I, live as literally according to ...
cheating	11/5/2005
Q: before i go into it i should ask if i have the right category for my question i suppose... are you ... A: I never advise anyone to have sex outside of marriage, but I will be happy to discuss how you might ...
My "friend"	10/29/2005
Q: You may remember me but about a month ago I emailed you regarding my friend, Wesley. And I told you ... A: Guys like things to stay the same! So many times when people start sharing their emotions, feelings ...
Strengthening lost love	10/9/2005
Q: I really need your help, I have no one else to turn, I am really sad. I just want to start from the ... A: Your attire through your years in high school sounds very much like so many others. Do you really ...
When the Old Flame Becomes the New Problem	10/7/2005
Q: Let me start by saying that I have been in a long-distance, lesbian relationship for over a year. I ... A: I really don't have a frame of reference for your question in my personal beliefs. I just don't ...
Hello my name is Melissa....	9/13/2005
Q: Me and my fiance have been back together for about a year and a half. We were seperated for about ... A: I understand what you are saying about the responsibility you had with your child, while he got the ...
Wesley	9/4/2005
Q: Hey! Thank you so much for your time... I am very confused about one of my friends. This ... A: Shelby, I have already answered your birthday question in another response, but I will address this ...
His birthday	9/4/2005
Q: Okay I have liked this guy for a long time, i have never told him i like him but he knows...anyway ... A: Shelby, I'm sorry I don't have a clue what to recommend for a gift, but a cake would be a nice ...
dating someone who is divorced with children	8/28/2005
Q: I am 33 and my boyfriend is 37. We have been dated for a few months and have really grown to like ... A: Give him the amount of time and space that you are comfortable with. He says he cares about you, ...
girl	8/9/2005
Q: I like this girl who I see in youth group but does not know how to approach her. HOw shall I ask her ... A: First!!! Don't try to impress her, just keep doing what you have been doing, but "approach" her. I ...
How do I help him?	7/15/2005
Q: ..I told him to take a few days away from me so he could think but 2 hrs later he came back crying ... A: It sounds as though your boyfriend has some things he needs to think through. He may be finding ...
in difficult times	7/12/2005
Q: I have started seeing a gentlemen recently that I really like and I know the feeling is mutual ... A: What two selfless people the two of you sound to be. I really pray your relationship strengthens. ...
Marriage	5/25/2005
Q: How would a couple come together to strenghten their marriage, if only one person wants to try? A: If only one person wants to try, then that one person will have to choose how much they are willing ...
saving my relationship	5/24/2005
Q: been with my g/f for about a little over a year. The most she's been with someone before that was a ... A: If you have a car and can come up with the money and time for a spectacular event with a girl ...
Trust issues	5/18/2005
Q: I'm hoping you can offer me some solid advice. I've been in two bad marriages. Both husbands were ... A: I would advise that you not date until the divorce is final. Any time in a relationship that there ...
What should I do?	5/4/2005
Q: I would really appreciate if you could help me/ give me your opinion. I'm a 20 year old girl. I met ... A: This sounds like a wonderful love story or at least a pure romantic adventure. Since you have ...
Commitment	3/31/2005
Q: My name is Bryan and I really need you to help me as soon as possible! I have been dating this ... A: You must make the commitment decision. You are the one that decided to "shop around." That feeling ...
hey. i want to keep it...	3/17/2005
Q: hey. i want to keep it simple... i love a gal. its been more than 1 year. i love her so much ... A: I would like to help you, but you have already told me you cannot accept my best advice, so I am not ...
Me and this guy were dating...	3/3/2005
Q: Me and this guy were dating for 4 years on and off and I have been moving in between florida and ... A: Absolutely, move on! He is with another woman and obviously not faithful to her. That passionate ...
conversation	2/13/2005
Q: My boyfriend and i dont go to the same school but we see eachother atleastt once a week and usually ... A: Shelby, I wouldn't force it, as you both may begin to feel bored or boring. Maybe the conversations ...
blended family	2/1/2005
Q: my name is Cindy I am 36 years old and have two children a 14 year old daughter and 9 year old son.I ... A: I think you are setting Jack and your son up to have a real problem later. My advice is this: You ...
marriage problems	1/30/2005
Q: -She is not a houswife. She is unemployed and can not find work in her field. And will not accept ... A: Well John, If you married her unemployed, then you did not get surprised. If this has come about ...
marriage problems	1/29/2005
Q: I have been married for 7 months. I am having marriage problems already. The first problem is ... A: Let me see what I can do to encourage you . . . I married a man that had been single for 20+ years ...
i know this is log, but i really need your help!!!	1/27/2005
Q: My bf and I started dating when I was 15, he was 17. This lasted for about a year in a half, During ... A: Fae, It is time for honesty and bluntness. You did a very stupid thing.(period) And that's really ...
Important Question	1/27/2005
Q: I am a 21 year old black female, I work at an hospital and wanted to do something part-time to ... A: Nikia, I never did read a question, much less an "important question." From what you have posted ...
help!!!	12/25/2004
Q: Well I have a few questions about this girl name Kenza that I dated for a few month 2 years ago. The ... A: You have been friends for a long time and both have matured since you attempted dating before. ...
Understanding a friend's intentions	11/24/2004
Q: A little history. 3 years ago I dated this fellow for three months. He is now 39 and never been ... A: If he is 39 and uneasy about commitment, then he's probably not looking for it any time soon. I ...
my marraige-always arguing	11/18/2004
Q: I've been married for almost 13 yrs. We have fought over some of the dumbest things in the past and ... A: I have read your question and prayed about this matter. I want to give you the best information ...
please help me ..	9/29/2004
Q: okay I have another question about my boyfriend jonathan...he was engaged before and I dont know if ... A: Heather, Relax, please! If Jonathan is losing interest, and I am not saying he is, but ...
need help	9/16/2004
Q: I have been divorced for 3 years I am 36 and have two children a 14 year old daughter who lives with ... A: I don't want to sound like a wet blanket here, but I can relate to several of the "shoes" you are ...
step son	8/30/2004
Q: However i feel you misunderstand me. 1 Yes the boy knows me as his dad. 2 yes i pay stiffly for ... A: I would still say, it is hard to avoid the topic of children while "getting to know each other." I ...
step son	8/30/2004
Q: I have a sweet lovely lady i hope to get married to soon and every thing is moving smoothly between ... A: I do adhere to the thought that children should not be involved in parents' relationship unless they ...
Hi there. I just need your...	8/19/2004
Q: I just need your opinion and insight into my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend going on ... A: I am pretty adamant on this topic. If you are living together, but not married, you are suffering ...
Hey Kindred, i have a problem...	8/13/2004
Q: Hey Kindred, i have a problem that i just wish i could solve overnight. I've had a great boyfriend ... A: Katelyn, I wanted to apologize for the delay in my answer. I thought I had registered myself to be ...
Having Different Agendas	7/6/2004
Q: Many thanks for your recent reply and kind thoughts. My fiancee and I are now engaged, and will soon ... A: Tell her exactly the reasons the way you told me. Job, expenses, and that you would like to, but ...
Proposing	6/19/2004
Q: You have helped me decide to move out on my own and to buy an engagement ring for my long-time love. ... A: Let me offer this. To "keep the horse in front of the cart," consider; if you will. Just try the ...
charlaine	6/18/2004
Q: I have a long question for you, I met this guy in england he was in the airforce and as soon as we ... A: In five years, you have discovered that his name is not really what he told you. He was too busy to ...
Showing commitment	6/10/2004
Q: Because she is upset that I haven't yet proposed to her, my girlfriend of 8 years is refusing to see ... A: It is very rare, that I cannot see the man's point of view, but . . . If she has been waiting for 8 ...
help im in love	5/12/2004
Q: My name is era. Im a college student and female 18. I try not to fall in love because i never get ... A: Don't worry about falling in love. And don't worry about trying to make this relationship go ...
courtship	5/7/2004
Q: am having a relationship with a lady(with one issue).i loved her but she is not coming out of her ... A: You cannot "make" someone see what they refuse to to look at. And no one has a right to judge a ...
My Best Friend Hates Me!!	4/16/2004
Q: I used to work with this girl and she developed a crush on me. I didn't act on it or anything and ... A: I will be honest with you. You call her your best friend and yet say you used her. I have a ...
how to deal with a friendship going bad	2/27/2004
Q: I am in love with my friend. She only loves me as a friend. So I already know that I can't make her ... A: If it is a genuine friendship, then find something you both like to do and just do it together. I ...
PLEASE HELP	2/21/2004
Q: I am just so confused. Yesterday she went out to do some things and was gone for over 6 hours. I ... A: Now that you have written back, you have shared two more pieces of information. You said first that ...
PLEASE HELP	2/17/2004
Q: I know this is long and I am sorry, but I need advice, THANK YOU! I am 26 years old, never been ... A: I would like to talk back and forth with you, but I will share this. You can respond again, if you ...

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