AboutChris Harris Expertise I can help with referral questions regarding suicide prevention and treatment as well as problems finding support, speaking with loved ones about suicide, and accessing needed services. I do not give advice regarding medications or endorse any particular service group or organization.
Experience Out patient therapist, emergency room social worker, and drug and alcohol counselor
Education/Credentials masters degree in social work, State social work license
Expert: Chris Harris Date: 1/29/2008 Subject: cutting
Question HEY my name is Hannah and a lot of people say i am preppy and outgoing and fun,nice,loud(good way) and upbeat! The truth is none of this is true. My life is a fake i act like all that stuff at school but thats not the way i feel. i started a new school this year and well things suck i mean yeah i have like Hundreds of friends but for some reason i still feel empty inside. i started cutting in 5th grade then quit during 6 and 7 grade I am in 8th grade and i cut again. no one knows not even my best friend. i like the way it feels when i do it i know that sounds weird but it is true my life is bad my family fights all the time and i want it to stop! i cry every single night, my mom says she wants to talk to me cause we never talk anymore but when i try she doesn't listen, rolls her eyes or just lets my brothers interrupt. When i confront her she says it is just in my imagination but trust me it isnt. i spend alot of time in my room BLARING my music like korn skillet and stuff like that but still the pain doesnt stop can i have some tips PLEASE oh yeah i shud say i have tried killing my self hundereds of times and i told my parents to get me a therapist and my mom found one but she doesnt help i think i am seriously depressed
Answer Hannah,
I sounds like you have a lot of stress in your life and you need some support. Your cutting behavior concerns me because teens tend to be impulsive and can easily cut too deep. It is also an expression of internal pain which you are trying to release. It sounds like you want someone to understand what is going on with you and reached out to your mom but she was not there for you. There are several things I would like to suggest. First, change counselors if it's not working (I realize it's not easy for you since your mom is making the decisions here). Second, speak to someone at school (guidance counselor, social worker, or psychologist). As long as you are not a threat to kill yourself these people should be able to keep your conversations confidential. Third, try getting involved in school activities that keep you busy and out of the house. Fourth, ask mom to make an appointment with your Pediatrician and talk to the doctor about your depressive feelings. Finally, I am going to give you a national number to call which is confidential and offers you a live person to talk to about what is happening to you. I am not affiliated with this organization but I offer it as a resource for you. You can call 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone who can offer more specific advice in the area where you live.
Finally, we all act diffently around different crowds of people. Sometimes we act happy even when we are not. If you feel you are forcing yourself to act a certain way around friends it adds to the stress you are already feeling. You sound like an articulate and intelligent young woman who is doing all the right things by asking for help from different people. Keep trying and call the national hotline for someone live to speak with about how you are feeling and what you can do about it.
Good luck and write again if I can help in any other way or you need more information.
Chris
