AboutChris Harris Expertise I can help with referral questions regarding suicide prevention and treatment as well as problems finding support, speaking with loved ones about suicide, and accessing needed services. I do not give advice regarding medications or endorse any particular service group or organization.
Experience Out patient therapist, emergency room social worker, and drug and alcohol counselor
Education/Credentials masters degree in social work, State social work license
Expert: Chris Harris Date: 3/9/2008 Subject: I don't want her to die
Question I've been with my g/f for 3 years and I found out out a week ago that she's been cutting herself. We were at the movies and when I was helping her out of the cab, she kind of stumbled out. Thats when I saw these huge gashes on her thigh. When I tried to ask her about it, she told me that they were from a long time ago and she didn't want to talk about it. But they didn't look old. I don't want her to kill herself and im at a loss of what I should do. I love her to death and pray that I wont get a phone call telling me the worse news of my life. How do I help her?
Answer Zach,
Cutting usually indicates some kind of deep seeded pain or trauma, which the person is having difficulty coping and expressing. Some people cut themselves as a means of releasing some type of internal feelings, other are so numb it's the only way they can feel anything, and others do it because they don't know what's wrong and it's diversionary for them. People who cut usually have an underlying depression or anxiety. Cutting does not mean a person is necessarily suicidal but it can lead to accidentally cutting too deep and she may become suicidal at some point.
What to do:
My answer depends on your relationship with your girlfriend. If you have a stable and trusting relationship you might want to simply tell her you are concerns and let her know you love and support her no matter what. Encourage her to seek help and let her know she can call you anytime she feels the need to cut. Fear about disclosing personal stuff my prevent her from calling you so if she does call and does not want to talk about what is bothering her, talk about a special time you both shared or another happy memory. Be as supportive as possible and encourage her to seek help from a professional. Good luck,
chris
