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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Suicide Prevention > friend in need
Expert: Chris Harris
Date: 3/21/2008
Subject: friend in need
Question
hello, this is my first time here. i'm a guy and i have this good friend of mine(who's a girl). she's really nice and cool and just plain awsome. the problem is that I think she's hanging out with the wrong crowd. they want her to go to their parties(and they are known for having alchohol). she is very beautiful and I fear they might take advantage of her. I worry about her. How do I tell her she's hanging with the wrong crowd without her getting mad at me.
Answer
Rusty,
Sorry for the late response but i found this question in the pool and it was not directed at anyone in particular so I thought I would give it a shot.
First, it sounds like you have feelings beyond friendship for this girl. Which is cool but it puts you in a tough spot. She is free to make her own choices about where she goes and who she hangs out with. If you want to have a little more influence, ask her out on a date. Occupy her time a little more socially. I may be off base but it also sounds like you are a little jealous about the time she is spending with other people and you would like to spend more time wit her. Give it a shot! The worse that could happen is she says no and continues doing what she has been doing. It would be a bummer to have her say no but at least you tried. Confronting someone about their behavior is tough enough without the stress of also really liking the person. Two guys would or two girls would simply say what they think and let the chips fall where they may but you have a little different problem. I would simply tell her that you care about her and you think she may be at risk going to these parties. Good luck,
Chris
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