AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 4/16/2008 Subject: Help me with SEVERE Depression PLEASE!!!
Question PLEASE HELP!... suicide.. one thing i never thought I would expierence in my
htoughts. I am 22 and have had other times where i have expierenced
depression.. In 7th grade i was not extremely liekd and was picked on.. and i
had a mild case of depression wwhere i woudl cry for no reason but was still
able to live my life. Then again when i went away to school at oneonta. On
winter break i met a girl that i went to school with in high school but never
tlaked to. WE hit it off entirley the whole break together. I went back to
school and she came to visit ever weekend and it was like heavon. At the time
i was also starting to smoke marijuanna to help me forget about all my
problems. Now i finally felt liek I had someone in my life that would b there
always. When she dumped me at the end of that summer I was devistated. I
couldnt continue my last couple weeks of school and had to move home. i
went to conciling and wasnt exactly put on any medication.. Only xanax to
help me deal with my anxety. No i have a great home and my parents are
great people. I then met another young lady who i feel for very fast once
again. AS long as i get alone with a girl and thinks she's attractive i will do anything to keep her around. I was cheated on several times and ran back to
her everytime. Finally it was enough and i lost interest in her and moved on
to another one. This break up didn't affect me much. I was able to move on
mostly b/c i was the one who didn't want to be the relationship anymore.
Ever since this i have had on and off flings with girls but non of them seemed
to interest me enough to give them my all. I spend like 90 percent of my time
looking for girls to have dates with or to find someone else. I also feel like i
need or want a girlfriend and i;m seriously not completely happy with out
one. I recently just finally had a girlfriend again that met around where i live
and she seemed perfect for me.. I once again devoted a lot to her .. to try and
be the best boyfriend ever. About 3 weeks in she told me that she didnt want
a relationship right now, but she really did. I probed it out of her to tell me
that she thinks i;m immature and that i was more interested then her. Then
two days later she told me to come back over. we had two nights of cuddling..
and then as soon as she went to the club she met someone else. She just told
me goodbye and thinks i;m crazy b/c this bothers me so much. I feel the
same way , i should obviously feel hurt by that but not the extent that i am. It
turned into i hate the rest of my life and i really don't think i;m going to find
another girl. I blow up her phone with tons of messages asking her if there is
anyway she wants back or anything but instead of friend now i am the person
to avoid.I am extremely depressed and cant do anything. I have a lot of
problems with insecurity and right now i'm just looking for any answers. I
Have lived with this feeling before but i;m not going to do it again, I am in
school and its effecting it so badly i am at a good college and a lot of my time
needs to be devoted to my studies and the only i can do is sit at home and cry
and feel helpless. I deffinitly know that marijuanna has effected our
relationship and haven't exactly done anything about that. My parents are completely supportive but they don't know what to do either. I am going to
go to a psychiatrist again but i don't feel like it is going to help. If it doesn't
what then.. end my life? i don't want to hurt others but i cant feel like this for
a long time.
Please Please help
Answer Oh my friend Brian,
The first step for you is to enter into counseling with an open mind. If you go there saying "I don't think this is going to help" then guess what? It probably isn't. Open your mind and your heart to what is really going on within you. Only then can you get to where you need to be. You are so fortunate to have the support of your parents.
You sound like a super sensitive guy and that is a rare commodity these days. Relationships are wonderful but sometimes you have to hold back a bit of yourself until you are sure it's the right one. Don't be in such a hurry to have a girl in your life right now. Have you heard the saying "there is nothing so attractive as that which you cannot have"? My suggestion is to carry on with your day to day life, not focusing so much on having a girl in your life. Get interested in something and I would almost guarantee you will find THE right girl when you least expect it. If you would focus that energy into volunteering in a hospital or being a big brother to someone or mentoring youths in trouble or anything that interests you I know the rewards will far outweigh the sacrifice.
Brian, there is one relationship that is impossible to fail at and that is a relationship with God. He is waiting for you to talk to Him and tell Him everything (even though He already knows). It's amazing to me how He loves us even when we can't seem to love ourselves. And, Brian, He is a wonderful matchmaker but you have to let Him have control. Let Him BE your life and stand back and watch what happens. There will be valleys but they will make you appreciate the mountains so much more. And it may take some time but it will happen....in God's time!
I hope this has helped even a little. Don't hestitate to contact me again if I can help further. Remember, Brian, God loves you and so do I.
