AboutJohn Expertise Almost no one understands how you feel if you are depressed and have thoughts of committing suicide. Even many doctors do not understand. Long term depressions put one at risk for this needless act but there is help available. I can show you how to get that help and help you to understand that what you feel now is only temporary. Parents and doctors encourage people to "snap out of it". Thus demonstrating their failure to understand this feeling.
Experience BA in Psychology. Counselor at a local church. Assistant youth pastor. Teacher of religious ed for 7th thru 12th grades.
Education/Credentials BA in Psychology and counseling
Expert: John Date: 6/24/2008 Subject: I once tried to kill myself...
Question Well...the title says it all.
Basically, a month ago, I attempted suicide. Just before you get worried, I'll just calm you down and tell you I am not feeling suicidal.
I just thought that maybe since you've had experience in counselling suicidal people, you would know what it takes to counsel them, how much strength it must take. You see, I'm really worried for my friend who has being helping me through a fairly rough past month, and who also happened call up and I was overdosing and call up an ambulance for me. Well, not worried, just really overwhelmed with what I am feeling at the moment. I'm worried that maybe he is just being friends with me because he's afraid I'll do it again?
And then, logically I think about it, and I think, no way, he would never go on msn every night that he isn't working just to talk to me if he was only just worried, he woulnd't be asking when I wanted to catch up. I mean, he IS there on the bad days, but when everything's going fine, he is there sometimes as well. We have the most awesome conversations sometimes, and I don't mean about the personal stuff I'm goign through, but just about life in general...
I try to lie to myself that I JUST enjoy his company, and I really do, he just makes me feel so happy when he's there...but I can't deny that lately I've being feeling like I LIKE him in the like like way. I'm so afraid to get hurt that he's just there because of the suicide attempt (which is obviously a big life event). I just started seeing a psychologist, and I told him, I don't need you to be my counsellor, I've got this person now...and I even asked him outright whether he's just friends with me because of the attempt, and he said no, it's not like we only talk about that, we talk about heaps of other things too and it's fun....I think he's telling me the truth, but my friends are telling me to be careful so that I don't get hurt.
Now...I don't know what to do! No matter what, he is still my friend and I care about him deeply and no matter what anyone says will change that.
(Just in case you are wondering, no we are not teenagers. But young enough to remember that when you ARE a teenager, a lot of people say, "don't worry about it, you're jsut young", which doesn't help the problem at all:p lol).
Answer Hi keisha, I will amke some comments in capital letters so you will easily see my comments. Im not shouting.
Well...the title says it all.
Basically, a month ago, I attempted suicide. Just before you get worried, I'll just calm you down and tell you I am not feeling suicidal.
I just thought that maybe since you've had experience in counselling suicidal people, you would know what it takes to counsel them, how much strength it must take. You see, I'm really worried for my friend who has being helping me through a fairly rough past month, and who also happened call up and I was overdosing and call up an ambulance for me. Well, not worried, just really overwhelmed with what I am feeling at the moment. I'm worried that maybe he is just being friends with me because he's afraid I'll do it again?i BELIEVE IT IS GENIUNE INTEREST IN YOUR WELL BEING. MOST PEOPLE WHO ATTEMPT SUICIDE BEAT THEMSELVES UP PRETTY BAD AND THIS IS BECAUSE THEY EXAGERATE WHA THE REAL ISSUE IS. mOST OTHER PEOPLE WOULD SEE THE ISSUE FOR WHAT IT IS. BUT IN DEPRESSION WE KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WE DO OR THINK MAKES US FEEL WE ARE EITHER BAD OR WORTHLESS OR NOT DESERVING . SO WE REALLY COME DOWN HARD ON OURSELVES. WE NOW KNOW ITS REALLY A CHEMICAL PROBLEM BUT ITS BROUGHT ON BY LIFE CIRCUMSTANCES MOST OF WHICH WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AT ALL.
And then, logically I think about it, and I think, no way, he would never go on msn every night that he isn't working just to talk to me SEE YOU ARE DOWN RATING YOURSELF HERE JUST LIKE YOU ARE SAYING TO YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THIS GUYS ATTENTION. YOU ARE BEATING YOURSELF UP AGAIN.
if he was only just worried, he woulnd't be asking when I wanted to catch up. I mean, he IS there on the bad days, but when everything's going fine, he is there sometimes as well. We have the most awesome conversations sometimes, and I don't mean about the personal stuff I'm goign through, but just about life in general...THIS IS VALUABLE TO YOU IN THAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO CAN GET YOU TO TAKE YOUR MIND OFF OF YOUR FEELINGS.
I try to lie to myself that I JUST enjoy his company, and I really do, he just makes me feel so happy when he's there...but I can't deny that lately I've being feeling like I LIKE him in the like like way. I'm so afraid to get hurtMOST EVERYONE IS AFRAID TO GET HURT OR REJECTED AND SO THEREFORE SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES ARE NEVER TAKEN BY PEOPLE. HOW MANY GUYS ARE AFRAID TO ASK OUT A GIRL BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID OF BEING REJECTED. SO THEY NEVER GET THE NERVE UP TO DO SO.
that he's just there because of the suicide attempt (which is obviously a big life event). I just started seeing a psychologist, and I told him, I don't need you to be my counsellor, I've got this person now...and I even asked him outright whether he's just friends with me because of the attempt, and he said no, it's not like we only talk about that, we talk about heaps of other things too and it's fun....I think he's telling me the truth, but my friends are telling me to be careful so that I don't get hurt.YOUR FRIENDS ARE RIGHT. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE HURT AT LEAST NOT AT THIS POINT. BUT IF YOU ARE SEEING A PSYCHOLOGIST I THINK YOU NEED TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST AND GET ON SOME ANTIDEPRESSANT THERAPY. THERE ARE PLENTY OF DRUGS AVAILABLE TODAY TO GET YOU THINKING STRAIGHT TODAY. THERES NO REASON NOT TO AVAIL YOURSELF TO THEM. YOU NEED NOT BE ON THEM INDEFINATELY. THE PSYCHOLOGISTS THINK YOU CAN TALK YOURSELF INTO A BETTER FRAME OF MIND OR CHANGE YOUR THINKING PATTERNS. BUT IF YOU HAVE MADE A SUICIDE ATTEMPT YOLU SHOULD BE SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST.
Now...I don't know what to do! No matter what, he is still my friend and I care about him deeply and no matter what anyone says will change that.
(Just in case you are wondering, no we are not teenagers. But young enough to remember that when you ARE a teenager, a lot of people say, "don't worry about it, you're jsut young", which doesn't help the problem at all:p lol). I THINK ITS GOOD YOU HAVE THIS PERSON TO TALK TO AND YOU SHOULD CONTINUE TO TALK TO HIM. BUT YOU SEEM TO BE WANTING TO TURN THIS INTO A RELATIONSHIP. RIGHT NOW I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE READY FOR SUCH A MOVE SINCE YOU NEED TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM THAT MADE YOU MAKE THIS SUICIDE ATTEMPT. I WILL MAKE A FEW SUGGESTIONS TO YOU IN ORDER TO GET TO START THINKING OF OTHER THINGS AND GET YOUR MIND WORKING IN A NUMBER OF AREAS. YOU NEED TO START DOING THINGS INVOLVING YOUR HANDS. THINGS LIKE PAINTING, SCULPTURE, WORKING WITH WOOD, SEWING, KNITTINGM, NEEDLEPOINT, ANYTHING THAT REQUIRES YOU TO WORK WITH YOUR HANDS. THE R4EASON IS THAT WHEN WE WORK WITH OUR HANDS IT ALSO OCCUPIES OUR MINDS. WE BECOME ENGROSSED IN WHAT WE ARE WORKING ON. IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE AN ART COURSE AT A LOCAL COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND JOIN A FEW CLUBS THAT HAVE PEOPLE WORK ON PAINTINGS OR WORK AT A COLLEGE ART CLASS DOING SCULPTURE OR CERAMICS. YOU NEED TO DO SOME THINGS WHERE YOU SEE THE FRUIT OF YOUR LABOR. THIS GETS YOUR MIND OFF OF YOURSELF. YOU CAN ALSO VOLUNTEER SOME OF YOUR TIME TO HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT AS WELL OFF AS YOU ARE. EVEN IF ITS JUST ONE DAY A WEEK OR AN AFTERNOON. THERE ARE PLENTY OF PLACES LIKE NURSING HOMES, CENTERS FOR THE DISABLED. yOU COULD READ TO SOMEOE WHOSE SIGHT IS FAILING OR WRITE A LETTER FOR THEM. YOU CAN TAKE THEM OUTSIDE FOR SOME FREASH AIR. YOUR NOT THERE TO BE A NURSE OR ANYTHING. BUT WHEN WE HELP OTHERS WE REALIZE HOW FORTUNATE WE ARE. I ALSO SUGGEST YOU JOIN A FEW CHURCHES OR AT LEAST BEGIN TO GO TO A FEW. I SUGGEST LOOKING FOR A CHURCH THAT MEETS ON SUNDAY EVENING AROUND 6 OR 630PM AND ALSO DURING THE MIDWEEK LIKE AROUND WEDNESDAY OR THURSDAY AT THE SAME TIME. THE REASON I SAY THI SIS THAT THESE TIMES ARE NOT WELL ATTENDED BUT THAT THE POINT. YOU ACTUALLY GET TO TALK TO PEOPLE AND MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS. ITS HARD TO FIND A CHURCH WHERE YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE GOING BUT ITS ESSENTIAL. THATS WHY IT MAY TAKE YOU A NUMBER OF VISITS TO A NUMBER OF CHURCHES. SUNDAY MORNING IS OK BUT PEOPLE JUST RUN OUT AND LEAVE LIKE THEY ARE JUST TOO EAGER TO GET HOME. AT THE EVENING SERVICES PEOPLE STAY AROUND AND CHAT. i HOPE THIS GIVES YOU A FEW IDEAS THAT WILL HELP YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUESTION.
