AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Expert: Lynne Luckett Date: 6/24/2008 Subject: I tried to kill myself once.....
Question Well...the title says it all.
Basically, a month ago, I attempted suicide. Just before you get worried, I'll just calm you down and tell you I am not feeling suicidal.
I just thought that maybe since you've had experience in counselling suicidal people, you would know what it takes to counsel them, how much strength it must take. You see, I'm really worried for my friend who has being helping me through a fairly rough past month, and who also happened call up and I was overdosing and call up an ambulance for me. Well, not worried, just really overwhelmed with what I am feeling at the moment. I'm worried that maybe he is just being friends with me because he's afraid I'll do it again?
And then, logically I think about it, and I think, no way, he would never go on msn every night that he isn't working just to talk to me if he was only just worried, he woulnd't be asking when I wanted to catch up. I mean, he IS there on the bad days, but when everything's going fine, he is there sometimes as well. We have the most awesome conversations sometimes, and I don't mean about the personal stuff I'm goign through, but just about life in general...
I try to lie to myself that I JUST enjoy his company, and I really do, he just makes me feel so happy when he's there...but I can't deny that lately I've being feeling like I LIKE him in the like like way. I'm so afraid to get hurt that he's just there because of the suicide attempt (which is obviously a big life event). I just started seeing a psychologist, and I told him, I don't need you to be my counsellor, I've got this person now...and I even asked him outright whether he's just friends with me because of the attempt, and he said no, it's not like we only talk about that, we talk about heaps of other things too and it's fun....I think he's telling me the truth, but my friends are telling me to be careful so that I don't get hurt.
Now...I don't know what to do! No matter what, he is still my friend and I care about him deeply and no matter what anyone says will change that.
(Just in case you are wondering, no we are not teenagers. But young enough to remember that when you ARE a teenager, a lot of people say, "don't worry about it, you're jsut young", which doesn't help the problem at all:p lol).
Answer Hi there!
I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your question. I hope I can help you even a little.
But first, I must tell you that my objective in life is really to counsel people who have lost loved ones to suicide, not suicidal people. I am not a trained professional and am not at all reluctant to suggest professional help to a person who is considering suicide. What I consider myself, rather than a counselor, is a friend willing to tell someone in pain how valuable life is and what a precious gift it is. That is an honor and a privilege for me even though some questions have come, admittedly, at a time when I honestly wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the day. But, it seems to remind me how precious my life is when I start typing what God is putting into my head and to the keyboard. These are not my words or my thoughts. I strongly feel that I am a vessel that God uses to reach through to His children who are in pain and suffering. What a blessing for me!
I am very thankful that you are not considering this for yourself and that you are seeing a professional. As for your friend, the only thing I can tell you is he must be doing what he is doing because he WANTS to and not out of pity. Dr. Leo Buscaglia who was a professor in education and interpersonal relationships said "To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.” What is important is not that you fail but that you try and, when you fail, to pick yourself up and move on to another part of life. And who knows? It may work out for the better. My advice to you my friend is to stop dwelling on the suicide attempt and just allow yourself to enjoy his friendship. It is what it is and you cannot change destiny. BUT, if he does not share your stronger feelings, then tell yourself, "it's okay because I have a wonderful friend and life goes on".
I hope this has helped you even a little and don't hesitate to contact me again if I can help further. Remember, God loves you and so do I.
