AboutJohn Expertise Almost no one understands how you feel if you are depressed and have thoughts of committing suicide. Even many doctors do not understand. Long term depressions put one at risk for this needless act but there is help available. I can show you how to get that help and help you to understand that what you feel now is only temporary. Parents and doctors encourage people to "snap out of it". Thus demonstrating their failure to understand this feeling.
Experience BA in Psychology. Counselor at a local church. Assistant youth pastor. Teacher of religious ed for 7th thru 12th grades.
Education/Credentials BA in Psychology and counseling
Question I NEED HELP WITH MY 14 YEAROLD DAUGHTER,SHE IS VERY DEPRESSED,ALWAYS ON THE COMPUTER WHICH IS IN THE KITCHEN SO I CAN PEAK AT WHATS GOING ON,I RECENTLY SAW HER PROFILE THAT SAID SHE FEELS SUICIDAL,AND SAW SCRAP PAPERS WITH I FEEL BROKEN,ECT...SOMEONE HACKED HER AIM SCREEN NAME AND WAS VERY VERY NASTY,TO THE POINT WHERE SHE WAS CRYING,ALSO SHE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MY OLDEST CHILD TAKING ABOUT CUTTING HER SELF,I NEED HELP,I AM ALWAYS TELLING HER I LOVE HER,AND GIVING HER HUGS,AND KISSES,I KNOW KIDS CAN BE MEAN,BUT THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL,SHOULD I TAKE HER TO TALK TO A PERFESIONAL?HER DOCTOR,COUNCLER AT SCHOOL?PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVISE ON THIS IM WORRIED FOR HER,PEOPLE TELL HER SHE IS FAT SHE ONLY WIEGHS 110 POUNDS,AND EATS LIKE A BIRD
Answer Dear Wanda, Theres nothing crueler to a child than another child. This seems to be what your daughter is experiencing. She needs to delete that screen name and delete any profile she has. Lots of kids put their profile up so kids will contqact them and even kids from the same school know how to find other kids from the same school on these services. You must be familiar with the woman whose daughter took her life as a result of a false young man who was really a neighbor. It broke the girls heart the cruel things that were said to her. Since your daughter has mentioned suicide then its ok for you to talk to her about it and what her feelings are. Yes i would take her to see your pediatrician or family doctor and get a referral for her to see a psychiatrist. The school counselors are of little value and will only send you a note advising the same. They do not want to be responsible. Your daughter probably needs to be started on some antidepressant medication which you may have heard is not recommended for teens and young adults. This is now incorrect. It was widely said that some of these antidepressants made teens and young adults more likely to attempt suicide so they put a black box warning on the medications. However the nukber of teen suicides increased as a result of doctors not prescribing antidepressants to teens. So it is probably better if she is depressed to start her on something. There are many and they are all similar yet all slightly different. They do take up to six weeks before the person begins to feel some improvement in their mood. Psychologists cannot prescribe mediciations as a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor. In cases of depression I would always start with the top person a psychiatrist. If you daughter attempts to harm herself she may need to be hospitalized and that does not mean a mental hospital since they are few and far between these days. Every general hospital has a ward or two for people who have mental health issues and they keep a close watch on them. It gets them out of the environemtn they were in and they can be treated with medicines and observed. Such a stay may only be for about two weeks or three. Do not leave her at home by herself even if she insists she is fine. It might be wise for her to change her screen name and not indentify herself as a girl as it leads to guys making rather coarse comments who may or may not know her. I do not think forbidding her from using the computer is a good idea . If she is not in any activities then she needs to be. If she is not now a church goer than she needs to become one. if she does not belong to a church youth group then she needs to join one or two. It may take a while to find a church where she feels comfotable going and the same applies to a youth group. I suggest a church that has meetings on sunday evening around 600pm or 630pm and also during the week around wednesday or thursday around 600pm or 630pm. These times are not well attended but that the advantage afterward you get to talk to people unlike the sunday morning crown that cannot wait to get into their cars and leave. She may be able to make some friends and will find a caring group of christians there. Your family doctor or her pediatrician may need to give you a referral to see a psychiatrist depending upon what your health insurance is like. It will be much easier to get an appointment if her doctor makes the appinemtn rather than trying to do it yourself. Psychiatrists are often booked up. If you have no clue what psychaitrists would be good for her and you live near a teaching hospital try to see the chief of inpatient psyvchiatry and ask him or her for the names of some psychiatrists in your area who wirk with teens. Schools often have a psychologist but this is more serious and you should not wait to get help for her. Do not scold her if she starts to cut herself. A lot of kids are into cutting themselves these days. Now its time for you to take the lead here and act. Take her shopping and let her pick out some new clothes and perhaps take her to a restayrant to talk. Let her know she can always talk to you about anything.
