AboutLynne Luckett Expertise I can answer questions about surviving suicide, about losing a family member to suicide and how to heal the hole that is left behind by a loved one committing suicide.
Experience My father committed suicide when I was 8 years old. It took me 13 years to even start dealing with his death but once the healing started it was truly an educational experience. I know now that he is with me all the time and though his physical self is no longer here, his spirtual self lives on in me and my son. I'm now 49 and have talked to several people about losing a loved one to suicide and have received some positive feedback about my advice. I am a medical transcripitionist and have been in the medical field for 20+ years. I feel I survived my dad's death to have the understanding to be able to help others. I love to help others.
Question QUESTION: hi, i'm really lost, my friend just killed himself and i feel lots of guilt even tho there was nothing i could have done, people ask me to tell them how i am feeling but there are no words! there isnt a word in the world that can describe how i feel, (he was only 13) the worst bit is i keep having thoughts of doing this to myself so i can be with him, i miss him so much i've been crying for 9 hours constant, i really need some help before i lose it :( plz help me!!! :(
ANSWER: Hi Ross!
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. The words to describe how you are feeling are: guilty, sad, hurt and angry to start. You are angry that he left you and you feel guilty because you are angry at someone who died. Your friend encountered a point in life where he could no longer cope. It is true that you could have done nothing to stop him but you can do something to stop yourself. Your life, Ross, is a precious gift from God and He has lots of things planned for you. You must allow yourself to grieve for your friend. Pray to God that He will give you the strength to make it through the pain and back into the world so you can move on with the plans He has made. Your life is a promise God has made to the world that it will be a better place because you are here. There are so many people you have yet to encounter and help along the way. You know the saying, "God does not give you more than He knows you can handle"? Well, it's true and isn't that good news? We all feel during the rough times that we cannot cope but somehow we manage to make it through and that's when you know that you're not alone.
If you keep feeling this desperate, Ross, you should seek professional help. I am praying for you to find peace my friend.
I hope this has helped you even a little. Please do not hesitate to contact me again if I can do anything else.
And, remember Ross, God loves you and so do I.
Sincerely,
Lynne
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QUESTION: i am very happy to get your answer so fast but something is puzzlig me if God does not give you more than He knows you can handle, why did my friend get more than he could handle?
ANSWER: Hey again Friend!
Yes, God does not give you more than HE knows you can handle. But, you have to believe that He is cradling you in His arms as you weather the storms of life. It's called faith my friend and your friend lost that in the last portions of his life. You must keep the faith that God is stronger than any hardship you encounter. But without those hardships, Ross, we do not grow and become the person He wants us to be.
Hopefully that helps a bit. :)
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QUESTION: hello again... i have prayed for about 3 hours for my friend, what else can i do to ease the pain a little
Answer I'm not sure it's going to be as easy as you think my friend. Healing will not be right away and takes work. Praying is an awesome start though. You might try talking with your parents or loved ones or if you are close to his family maybe offer to help them with their pain. Seek counseling if you are led to do that. Remember the good times and why he was such a good friend to you. And, by all means, keep praying. Peace will come but, remember, in His time, not yours. And He is not trying to prolong your pain; He is helping you to learn from it.
Pay tribute to your friend by surviving, loving God and helping others. There is no better legacy.
