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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Suicide Prevention > help
Expert: Chris Harris
Date: 9/2/2008
Subject: help
Question
QUESTION: I am in love with this girl named Jenna and she hates because of lies someone told her and I have been so sad lately. I've thought about suicide repeatedly and I just recently started cutting my wrist. I need to know what to do. I'm not going to see a councilor so don't recommend it.
ANSWER: This is for Jenna:
Have you talked with Jenna? Do you think she just needs a little time to cool down? Try approaching her with your feelings. That means telling her how you feel about her and how her belief in the “lies” makes you feel. Ask her how she felt when she was told those things. Reassure her that your feelings about her are real and you would never do anything that would hurt her. Apologize for her pain and ask her what she would like you to do. Do not offer excuses or explanations about the “lies”.
This is for You:
What you need to do is talk about the feelings you are having. The internal pressure these feelings put on you is causing you tremendous stress. That internal stress is coming out by cutting and feeling like wanting to kill yourself. What is wrong with seeing a counselor? It’s private, confidential, and safe. The only reasons not to see someone who can help you is you are not seeking help. If you want an easy answer, I do not have one. Life is complicated and relationships rank right up there as one of the most complicated things we experience as human beings. If you are in the US call 1800suicide. You can talk to a live person and they can help talk you through some of your feelings. If there is anything else I can help with please drop me a note.
Good luck,
Chris
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: I told Jenna and she said she didnt believe the lies but she thinks I'm obsesive because I'm in love with her.
Answer
Maybe her initial response was really an expression of her feelings because she is feeling a little pressure from you. My advice is to chill and let her have some space. Let her know you still want to hang out and stuff and acknowledge your obsessivness. Try to use a little humor to lighten the mood so she does not feel too much stress. You can say something like, "Hey Jenna, I was thinking about what you said and your right I am obsessing a little. You and Ashley Simpson must be on the same wave length or something." The joke should sound a little lame so she knows you heard her and you are not taking things too seriously but you will respect her boundaries. Good luck.
Chris
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